Sunday, February 28, 2021

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Made a Decision …


Nothing happens until we decide. When we make a decision our lives move forward.  


 I  recently sent these few suggestions that follow to a struggling sponsee on what to do on those days when our brains want to kill us - or at least to make us miserable. ALL people in recovery from addictions have days like that, some of us more than others. 


Perhaps this list will be a help to you on your next "bad" day?  I hope so - that's why I'm sharing  it:


The List:


1.  Don't believe everything you think!


2.  Mask up and go for a good long walk - rain or shine. Or put on some music that moves your feet and then dance till you drop!


3.  Have you prayed about it? If not, do so. Ask to learn what has triggered you feeling wobbly and then ask for a solution, one that will work for you. Write down any thoughts that come to you. Share them with your sponsor or a trusted AA friend.


4.  Have you read - and then actually thought about what you've just read - from a book that offers a spiritual direction?


5. Have you looked to see where you might be with that AA adage - H.A.L.T.?   (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired).

           Hungry - Have you had enough to eat?  If not. Eat now.

           Angry - Are you pissed off at anyone? If so, why? What can be done to fix it?

           Lonely - Have you called an AA friend or any loved one today? Do so. Your call might just make their day better - and yours.                                                                                         

           Tired - Are you well rested, did you sleep good? If not, take a nap - or go to bed early.


6.  Have you written out a gratitude list with at least 20 items on it? 

              (Yes, you can think of at least 20. Work on it!)

Examples: Is the sun out today? Can you see it? Is it raining? Can you feel it? Will nature benefit from that rain today? Do you have friends? Will you call one or more friend today? Do you live where there is pretty scenery? Are you able to mask up and go out for a walk to enjoy it?

 Is your health good? Give thanks. A lot of people are very ill today.

Do you like your family? Are your parents alive? Ask them about their childhoods. Ask them how they met. Ask them about the best thing that ever happened to them … or the scariest … or the most interesting. Ask them what they’d do over in their lives if they had the chance. Ask them the kinds of questions you’ll kick yourself for not asking after they’ve gone.

Have you laughed today? If not, why not? Laugh at yourself if nothing else shows up to give you a giggle.

And so on ...


7.  If you have a copy of the wonderful book  "Believing in Myself" get it out and read the July 4 entry again. 

8.  In that same book - or other spiritual daily reader - start writing down a list of the dates that really "speak" to you when you read them. Refer to those dates and read them again when you go all wobbly.

9.  Go take a nice hot shower or a long soaky hot bath with something in it that smells nice. Appreciate what a lovely experience that is.

10. Cut some flowers from the garden and fill a vase for them indoors.  Men may balk at this, but science has shown having cut flowers in the house lifts our spirits. Even artificial flowers do!

11. Consider learning a new skill. Write down what it will take to accomplish it: Buying a book on the subject? Finding a mentor? Taking a class? An online video? Then do it! Try it. If you find it doesn't light your fire after a few weeks, think about something else that might interest you instead. Repeat those initial steps with your new project. Keep doing this until you find something you find yourself passionate about - and then enjoy it forever.

12. Pursue something - anything - that interests you, from reading a good book, watching an upbeat movie, enjoying a jigsaw puzzle, dancing around the house, watching something on Telly that you know will make you laugh (QI, Mock the Week, Would I Lie to You, Stand Up Comic performances, etc.), learn how to cook Chinese food, Italian food, Mexican food, Indian food  - or just plain learn how to cook and bake  - then get the ingredients and go for it! 

13. Make a list of all these things you loved to do as a child. A dollhouse? Riding your bike? Fishing? Roller skating? Dancing? Reading? Drawing? Colouring? Try those things again. You will have outgrown some of them, but others will still speak to you as an adult. Enjoy your second childhood. I certainly do! 

13.  Write a letter to any person you are pleased to have in your life and tell them so and why. This can be a relative, a friend, a former teacher, a religious leader, someone in AA, even someone in the government. Mail it to them. Trust me - they will be thrilled and you’ll be happy with yourself, too.

14. Buy a box of gold stars and whenever you note in your diary something you did that took all your courage to do, award yourself a star. Then, when you have a wobbly day in future, flip back through the pages and read what happened every time you get to a star. You’ll feel better about yourself and your recovery in no time.

              Note: Any good sponsor will merely ask you some of the above questions (and others like them) if you call them when you’re feeling wobbly - and then they will make suggestions to help you based on your answers. Doing any one of the above can shift our perception from negative to positive.  We have "a disease of perception" after all!

And then, as we move forward in our recovery, we will start to ask ourselves those questions when we feel out of kilter and before things become worse. We then apply the ones that we think (or now already know) will help us get back on track.

                    That's how "working the program" works. It works - IF (and when) we work it.


Saturday, February 20, 2021

          At the urging of friends I have finally decided to change my random blog to one mainly on the topic of recovery from addiction. (A few other pet topics will show up from time to time, however, because Digression is my middle name.) 

          Many of the things posted here will be on recurring themes taken from letters and emails I have sent to AA sponsees and friends over the years of my own recovery. My hope is they will be of help to you, too. 

Blog One follows: 

Zoom Meetings - Some thoughts from an AA Oldtimer about online meetings (and other stuff) during Covid ...         (O.Kay J. - Sobriety date September 11, 1981.) 

I am a 77-year-old No Tech who has attended in-person AA meetings for a few months shy of 40 years. So when Covid arrived and we had to switch to online meetings it was very hard for me. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to do it. I would still rather meet in thatfamiliar room with the steps, traditions and slogans on the wall and our cups of coffee or tea in hand. I miss my AA hugs. 

My dear old brother, Bob S. (sobriety date 3rd April 1981) feels the same. He struggles with the “new” (to us) technology even more than I do, but he gets to his Zoom meetings all the same. After all, what choice do we have? It is now either an online meeting or no meeting for all of us. We must now Zoom for our ongoing recovery or go it alone and risk the ever-lurking possibility of a relapse. 

My first sponsor told me alcoholism isn’t the only progressive, terminal, fatal illness out there, but it is the only one that doesn’t require some often horrific treatments like chemotherapy, or dialisis, or a daily shot of insulin (to name but a few). All I have to do to treat my disease is to get my ass to a meeting. With Zoom meetings being the only meetings on offer at the moment, then a Zoom meeting it must be. 

(Of course, in addition to our meetings, we have to continue working our program by applying the steps in our lives, helping others, reading AA literature, talking with our AA friends and sponsors, and getting through this strange Covid experience One Day at a Time.) 

But I admit it irks me more than a little bit when I hear virtual newcomers saying they “don’t like online meetings, “ and “they’re not the same,” and “I miss our real meetings,” and other whining to that effect. What’s worse, I hear those same remarks from people with long-term sobriety, too. They often stay away from online meetings and, by so doing, set a pretty lousy example for program youngsters. 

But imagine if Covid had come along ten or 20 years ago, when cell phones and PCs weren’t part of our daily reality? Imagine being in lockdown with NO meetings available to us? Where’s our gratitude? 

How about being happy for: 
Being able to zoom into a meeting any hour of the day. 
Having gratitude for meeting new friends in recovery all over the world at the touch of a button. 
Or even (my personal favorite this winter) appreciate not having to leave the house on a cold wet night and navigate icy streets to get to a meeting. 

It’s so easy to forget we all, as our literature tells us, have “a disease of perception.” But we can choose to look for and perceive the benefits of any situation - including online meetings - rather than suck our thumbs and pout about “the good old days.”

Saturday, September 26, 2020

This is a test actually, to see if this blog is still active and able for my use. If it is I am soon to get it up and going again. Watch this space!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Another Poisonous Blog ...

The Royal Horticultural Society recommends glyphosate for “treatment” (poisoning) of Japanese Knotweed. Personally I’d rather breathe in the oxygen produced by carbon dioxide given off by the knotweed than have any of the  “known” effects of glyphosate.
I  was fascinated to learn among its many side effects, glyphosate (the primary ingredient in the weed killer Roundup) can give you goosebumps (it damned well should) and can also leave you drooling.
Other symptoms of glyphosate poisoning include:
Abdominal cramps; Anxiety; Breathing difficulty; Blue lips or fingernails (rare, but I had both when I lived in poisonous rural Bulloch County in the state of Georgia, USA); Diarrhea; Dizziness; Drowsiness; Reduced urination; Cough; Difficulty swallowing; Nausea; Vomiting; Esophageal inflammation; Blood in vomit; Stomach inflammation; Blood in urine; fluctuating blood pressure levels; Increased blood potassium level; Leukocytosis; Metabolic acidosis; Nystagmus; Mouth ulcers; Goosebumps; Salivation; Destruction of red blood cells; Respiratory failure; Kidney damage; Coma, and more …

I already knew a lot of bad shit about glyphosate before my move back to England a year ago, a move I made with a certain amount of naivety in not expecting to find it here at all. I have since learned, while it is completely banned in Belgium and its use severely restricted in many other European countries, it is just one of many poisons sprayed enthusiastically across the United Kingdom. Its most supportive partner in this poisoning of Mother Earth is none other than those United States of America.

But why am I thinking about pesticides, fungicides, rodenticides, insecticides and other poisonous topics on a bright and sunny October day in beautiful rural North Yorkshire, England? That would be because I have just been poisoned - again - as they’ve been spraying the nearby farm fields this past week.

Since I react strongly to poisonous “agricultural drift,” I didn’t need to see the trucks or planes out there to know I’d been poisoned - again. But my knowing was confirmed when a friend happened to mention she’d been riding her horse over the weekend and her “allergies” had been acting up ever since. She also said she’d seen farmers spraying in a nearby field, but - like most of us - until our conversation she hadn’t connected the dots suggesting her “allergies” were perhaps a bit more sinister.

Last week I was energetic and even a bit frisky for a woman of my years. Today I’m sitting here with a headache, constricted forehead (as I recall those very important pineal and pituitary glands are near there), nausea, a gut that wishes it didn’t have these sharp stabbing pains, itchy running eyes and itching gritty ears, plus occasional explosive bouts of dry sneezing from time along with severe fatigue and some depression.

I remind myself that bad as all this is, I’ve only suffered from glyphosate poisoning five or six times during the year I’ve now been back in England. In Georgia and Florida it was practically daily. I was bedridden much of the time during my last year there, but I used my down time wisely. I read a lot about glyphosate.

I learned that some 880 million pounds plus of Roundup is used annually in the Land of the Free alone, for broadcast weed control across general-rights-of-way, in ditches, home gardens, on lawns, in crop production, fallow fields, understory weed control in groves, vineyards, orchards, parks, and for aquatic weed control in ponds and lakes.

The newest research has shown the glyphosate in Roundup products (along with all neonicotinoid pesticides) pose unsuspected dangers to humans, especially children.

There is scientific documentation of human fetus damage from some of these poisons. And science in the states has confirmed the epidemic numbers of autistic children throughout America is a likely byproduct of chemical spraying. Research has shown a sixfold increase in risk factor for autism spectrum disorders for children of women who were exposed to organochlorine pesticides during their pregnancies.

A Harvard University released study found that exposure to pesticide residues may double a child’s risk of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Similar results hold true for the increase in asthma and allergies.

There is so much information available on this subject can anyone really no longer see that big agriculture, pharmaceutical companies, the medical industry and bought-and-paid-for politicians are merrily poisoning all of us with regard only for their own profit?

Take good old heart-attack-preventing Bayer Aspirin for example. Bayer, a pharmaceutical company founded in 1863, is a trusted corporate name to most Americans. It’s current motto is “Science Today for a Better Life,” but it is marching hand in hand with the Monsanto Company, producers of Roundup among similar products, into a future poisonous for us all.

(Don’t know what the Monsanto Company is? It’s time you did! Your life and your family’s life is at stake).

Don’t expect full disclosure when you go poking into Bayer or Monsanto’s business practices, however, as they are very clear on what is legally required for them to tell you. And that is absolutely all they will tell you, using language like “Bayer and Monsanto assume no obligation to update the information in this communication, except as otherwise required by law.”

(I expect next to hear that Bayer and Monsanto have merged with fracking concerns as they share the same kind of corporate morality.)

How can you and I and everyone around us be subjected to active poisoning without any input from us ‘poisonees’? We didn’t choose this. But we’re not kept informed about it, either. The media, fake or otherwise, just isn’t keeping environmental concerns out there front and center as hot topics. Instead it focuses on economic issues, political struggles, educational concerns, and the like. Not that these aren’t worthy of our attention. They are. But so, too, is the poisoning of our planet - and of our species!!!

And, oh yes, there’s also this: human sperm counts have plunged by nearly 60 percent in just 40 years among men and of those men who eat diets high in pesticide residue show dramatically lower sperm counts. I’ve heard one item here on the evening news about this in 2017. I’d wager I’ve heard 365 reports on the economic concerns over Brexit in that same time period.

Meanwhile, right here in North Yorkshire a “weak solution of glyphosate” (per the local council) is used to kill weeds in ditches, school grounds, playgrounds, along the base of terrace houses, on footpaths, around bus stops - in fact anywhere weeds grow. It is sprayed throughout the borough several times a year to make healthy green plants become nicely dead and brown.

Gardeners and homeowners, persuaded by advertising and unaware of the dangers, use Roundup liberally around their homes, in their gardens and their allotments, and all manner of places where their children and pets play.

Roundup today is “the most indiscriminately and extensively used chemical in agriculture and the environment,” According to Dr. Don D. Huber, professor emeritus of plant pathology at Purdue University in America.  While the latest studies “show glyphosate worldwide as the most biologically disruptive chemical in our environment.”

Studies are ongoing, and have not gone unnoticed by retailers. In 2015, Lowe’s, one of America’s largest home and garden suppliers, quietly announced its intentions to pull Roundup product from its shelves in 2017. To my knowledge it hasn’t yet happened and given America’s current political climate I wonder if it will?

But the lawyers in the United States are now getting on board with television advertisements asking people who have been harmed by glyphosate to come forward and join class action lawsuits against those who produce and market it. Since it was legal action of that kind that turned the use of tobacco products around in America, many environmental activists there are hoping the same will be true with the abuse of agricultural chemicals.

People in the USA currently have ten times more glyphosate in their bloodstreams than do the people of Britain and no amount of it tucked away in our cells is good for any of us. Getting away from being poisoned was one of my main reasons for moving back to the United Kingdom because, while some folks have a high tolerance for being poisoned, I am not one of them.

Many people like me become sensitized over time to certain pesticides. Exposed once (or even a few times) without effect, we later develop a severe allergy-like response after suffering repeated exposures.

I did my own check list on these allergic responses which include: asthma (check) life threatening shock, skin irritations such as rash (check), blisters (check), open sores (check), eye, ear and nose irritation including itchy, watery eyes, grainy and itchy ears and dry sneezing (check, check and check). The only box left unchecked was that one about life-threatening shock. I can’t help but wonder when that toxic shock might show up?

Unfortunately there is no way to tell which people may develop allergies to which deadly chemicals amidst the many different kinds being haphazardly sprayed around out there. But don’t expect your doctor to pick up on you being poisoned when you present your symptoms. Most physicians have not been trained to recognize and treat pesticide poisonings or injury. Your doctor will usually see your symptoms as indicative of other illnesses, from flu to having a bad hangover.

So it’s back to you to search out the clues that only a person who has been poisoned can notice, such as nausea or headache. Vomiting or fainting can be noticed by others, however, so your condition may be taken more seriously if you manage to develop those symptoms. Given enough ongoing exposure I’m sure you’ll be able to manage it.

But if you’re over the age of 70 you’ll quite possibly be viewed as irrational when you suggest you are being poisoned. (Having a wee touch of dementia perhaps? I’m sure there’s a pill for that.) After all, elderly folks often go to their doctor with stomach complaints, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, confusion, chills or excessive sweating, chest pains or tightness, difficulty breathing, muscle cramps or aches all over the body and itchy skin.

All the above can be caused by many common complaints of the aging process - from osteoarthritis to heart problems - but they can also be caused by “agricultural drift” poisonings. And I suspect they often are, given that spray drift is one of the main sources of pesticide contamination (according to science.gov).

Since pharmaceutical companies and producers of pest killers are now sometimes one and the same, and since I know each of those industries has powerful lobbies at least in Washington, D.C., one cynically has to consider who actually benefits from all this? And there’s a lot of shape changing apparently going on around this issue at the moment.

For instance, the European Parliament just voted to re-authorise glyphosate, but with significant restrictions on its use. France, among many EU members, remains opposed to any relicensing for glyphosate’s use. Others, like the UK, are all for using it. Meanwhile, while nations struggle to find a compromise, our health is steadily being compromised.

The European Parliament has called for glyphosate “restrictions on use in agricultural fields shortly before harvesting,” noting this currently allowed practice of spraying gyphosate on wheat and other crops before harvest is “unacceptable.”

Glyphosate is often sprayed over nearly-ripened food crops to hurry along the production of grain heads. The poisoned plant puts forth a burst of energy to produce its next generation before dying. Just writing this makes me sad for those plants and their premature deaths.

The ‘Not In My Bread’ campaign has called for that ban on the use of glyphosate as a pre-harvest weed-killer in the UK, pointing out spraying wheat with a known carcinogen immediately before it heads for milling into flour is perhaps not in the best interests of the public. You think?

The European Food Safety Authority (EFSA) has called  for “full disclosure of the scientific evidence behind an assessment of glyphosate.” If approved this action will open the pesticide industry to political and public scrutiny, exposing more than a half century of unpublished, industry-funded studies and secret documents used to get pesticides authorized in the USA and other countries, including the UK.

Such full disclosure of almost all (note “almost”) scientific evidence is already a requirement for medicines, but it is not for pesticides or for genetically modified crops. If the European Pariament’s recommendation is implemented it will for the first time open up to political and public scrutiny the secret, industry-dominated and controlled process under which we’re being poisoned unaware.
You can ask your physician or poison control center to obtain the latest edition of "Recognition and Management of Pesticide Poisonings" by Donald P. Morgan, M.D., Ph.D. It is apparently available to members of the medical profession through the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency or from the U.S. Government Printing Office.

Maybe they’ll send you a copy, too, but you don’t actually need it. There are vast amounts of information on this subject for those seeking it in books and online. Warning - reading these kinds of materials may cause headaches, heart pain and stomach ache.

Chronic health effects may occur years after even minimal exposure to pesticides in the environment, or can result from the pesticide residues which we ingest through our food and water. This is especially true if you happen to be a bee. The broad spectrum exposure of Roundup has already created high levels of the poison in the environment throughout the year, with especially high concentrations in plants, air, water and soil during primary bee foraging times. Even honey, perhaps nature’s most perfect food, now shows traces of glyphosate residue.

Roundup has long been linked with the unprecedented die-offs of pollinators like bees and butterflies and for causing death to amphibians like frogs, toads and newts. But it’s the latest findings linking it to disruption of the neural patterns and respiratory problems in humans that is triggering the most alarm.

The use of poisons to maintain ditches, control insects and weed growth is easy and cheap and approved of by government environmental protection agencies wherever it is used. But some communities are now taking a hard look at that practice and a few have even returned to the time-honored safe practices of mowing and ditching. To allay mowing costs using expensive equipment they let landscaping companies bid for those jobs.

Some places are even spraying, but instead of chemicals they are using salt water or vinegar, which they say are every bit as effective as chemical controls - without the dangers.

In the short term spraying poison for weed control is more cost effective than mowing. What’s not yet fully known are the long term costs these chemicals offer regarding human and environmental health. Scientists say it will be tragic should those costs prove to be more than we can bear.

Pesticides, fungicides, rodenticides and herbicides are designed to interfere with biological or chemical pathways critical to the survival of the pest for which it is targeted. When the pesticide interrupts these pathways, the target organism dies.

It’s starting to feel like we are viewed as just another “designated pest” by the chemical industry, for when you try and find out how to avoid toxic chemical damage you are advised to “avoid and reduce harmful effects from pesticides … “  

My question is - given that we are regularly showered in poisons without any say in the matter -  just how exactly are we supposed to be able to do that?

Sunday, September 17, 2017

P.S. to blog post made earlier today about waiting for news from Florida ...

p.s.
Clay and Susanne and Nathan, who had to evacuate from St. Simon's Island, Georgia, are now back in their home safe and sound. There was no power, sewer or water on the island until two days ago, but their house is intact and all is well. (Imagine forgetting to put this information in that first blog post today! I told you I was scatterbrained right now!)

The Long Wait ...



I’m still waiting for word from Florida.
    Or rather, I’m waiting for my daughter, Georgia, and her three children to have power back in their home in the wake of Hurricane Irma so they can contact me.
It took five looooooooooooong days for the roads around the Ocala National Forest where they live to be cleared of fallen trees so they could drive to the nearest store some 20 plus miles away.
    Once there GA was able to get in a line of other anxious locals to use the store’s computer and send a one line email reading, “We are safe.”
    No sweeter words have ever been received on my computer.
So much so, that one single brief message has kept me fairly content for the days of silence that have followed.
    But that contentment is wearing thin now, knowing they are sweltering in high temperatures and 100 percent humidity, that there’s standing rainwater hatching out mosquitoes in the millions and other major discomforts piling up - like running out of stockpiled water, knowing everything in their freezer is rotting, wondering if there will be any food left before the power is back on, and etc.
    Living as I am right now in complete and utter comfort makes me feel even worse for them. I’m sad, too, for all those in Florida and the brutally damaged offshore island communities where people are living with those same conditions and insecurities right now, many of them in far worse conditions than my family.
GA’s house is still standing and her property didn’t sustain any major damage, or so my granddaughter said in a hurried computer call when she got to her Dad’s house last Friday. Knowing that is a relief, but ...
What are they eating?
Are they eating?
Their well is power driven and while they had stockpiled water for a week or so, have they run out of water in this heat? Where will they get any, given that all their neighbors are in the same situation.
These are the thoughts running constantly in the background of my mind right now even as I chat with friends and go about my daily activities. I find I am forgetful and even irritable. And I’m tired all the time. Exhausted even.
This is too hard.
I hate this.
We had massive television coverage here in England when the storm was on her rampage through the islands and into Florida. Every news broadcast was filled to the brim with news of dangerous winds and storm surges and changes in direction of the terrible hurricane.
But after? When more than half the state had no power and no way to communicate?
Not a peep.
Perhaps newscasters might give a thought to that since global warming has guaranteed we’ll see more of these kinds of events in the future?
(Don’t believe in global warming? You have much in common with an ostrich.)
I have left email and phone messages with power companies, emergency services and Georgia’s ex-husband, but have had no word back on their situation from anyone. I know my grandchildren were at their father’s house this past weekend, but are they staying with him? If so, for how long? Is my daughter OK? She was sick with bronchitis when the hurricane hit … is she still sick?
            WHAT IS GOING ON IN FLORIDA???
This not knowing is the worst from my end while the conditions they are actually living under are the worst ever for them.
I know they have learned a lot from this experience,
as have I.
I’ve learned I need a lot more contact phone numbers on hand.
I’ve learned power it may take weeks for power to be back on following hurricanes having the highest numbers, especially in those backwater places where the po’ folk like my daughter live.

And I’ve learned I never, ever, want them (or me) to go through something like this ever again. The sooner they get out of there and over here, the better.  

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Merry and Olde back to Merrie Olde … #2

British Homing Toilet Spiders

I moved to the village of Carlin How in North Yorkshire from a similar sized town in the states, Oak Hill, Florida. That fact alone has all my new neighbors convinced I am as mad as the proverbial hatter.
“Leave all the sunshine for Carlin How?” they cry, eyebrows lifting.  “What are you on about?”
Here’s the thing. Thirty degree heat or more with 99.9 percent humidity might be a nice place to visit, but - trust me - you really, really wouldn’t like to live there. Not if you like to walk or dig around in the garden that is. I used to have to be out dragging a watering hose around my garden by 7 a.m. (and I’m not a “morning person”) because it was too hot to be out there doing garden chores one minute later.
Then there were the snakes. I couldn’t reach for that juicy tomato without a good look around and under the plant first. There are coral snakes and all kinds of poisonous pit vipers, including several species of rattlesnakes, to be found living in Florida’s urban gardens. Since I'm the sort to forget all that and reach without looking, I really shouldn't be gardening around anything more dangerous than stinging nettle.
Let's also not forget the biting bugs - from Florida’s 80 different varieties of mosquitoes (33 of which are known to be harmful to humans and animals) that live and bite happily all year long, to gnats, no-see-ums, horse and deer flies, fire ants, stick ants, and many, many, many others that don’t make gardening much of a treat either.
And consider the spiders: Asian Crab spiders as large as your hand; big hairy wolf spiders hunting smaller spiders and other prey  through the house every night; black widows, brown widows, red widows in their tatty webs - all of them poisonous to greater or lesser degrees; recluse spiders (don’t believe the experts who claim Florida has no recluse spiders. I have seen them there with my own eyes); Orb spiders with bodies the size of an old-fashioned English penny hanging suspended in their magnificent three-foot-by-three-foot webs; jumping spiders the size of an American quarter, and the list goes on and on ...
So I felt very safe and wildlife secure in Carlin How until that day in July when I found myself in the company of the rare and now dreaded British Toilet Spider!!! (At least I hope they are rare!)
It happened like this:
I had been reading on “the throne” and when I got up to leave, just as I flushed, I saw something move rapidly along the top of the toilet bowl just under the seat. I gingerly lifted that seat and to my horror saw a very big, in fact FLORIDA BIG, black long-legged spider leaping neatly over the running water jets. She was so not bothered by the water I could only conclude she had been living there for quite some time.
Being adverse to killing spiders (they, too, after all have a role to play on our planet and quite possibly a more important one than mine), I offered her a ride on the toilet brush to the great outdoors. Being British - therefore quite mannerly - she accepted, and I took her to live in the courtyard. Since it was raining that day and I already knew she liked water, I thought she’d live out there quite happily.
I was wrong.
Just two days later I went in to have a bath and, glancing at the toilet (which I do now with a degree of paranoia because, despite all the Florida spiders named above, I had never before encountered one living inside my toilet bowl), I noticed a bit of gray fluff on the side of the toilet seat. A closer look revealed it to be a SPIDER WEB!
And, there, at the edge of the attached web but down nearer the floor,  was my homing spider back again. I’ve put her back outside twice since, but like a well trained dog, she comes straight home every time.
So I’ve named her “Fright” and will probably just have to keep her. But I don’t think I’ll ever get used to having her attached to my toilet.
(Having managed to post one photo from the internet which you'll see further along, I thought I'd be able to download a great picture of Fright for you in her natural habitat, too. But after clicking on 'create' and 'upload,' then clicking on 'shared albums,' and then on her picture, and then re-selecting 'create', and clicking on 'share', adding in a title, 'clicking on the little paper airplane at the bottom of the screen' to send the picture to my email, then 'clicking on copy' and going to this blog and 'putting the curer here where I wanted the photo' and 'clicking on control V' and then finding four copies of this entire blog repeated over and over, but no photograph ... I said "tut, tut, tut ... no pictures for you folks," and moved on.)
But I couldn't move on without telling you another spider tale, the one my grandson Nathan made me tell to his entire class when he was an eight-year-old child and not the strapping 16-year-old young man he is today.
I lived then in Savannah, Georgia and in Savannah’s climate one waters one’s garden pretty much every day if one likes plants to actually live. The tap where I connected my hose was in bright sunshine so I was very surprised one morning to spot one of the more spindly members of the Latrodectus family (black widows to you) hanging about in her tatty web about a foot away from the tap. Widows prefer dark corners under chairs and stairs to bright sunshine, but clearly this one wanted a darker tan to better show off her striking red belly.
(I say tatty web, but the density of steel is about six times that of spider silk, yet their silk is correspondingly stronger than steel wire of the same weight. I only use the word “tatty” because the widows build crap looking webs in comparison with any common garden spider.)

 



L. hesperus

      While looking for a nice spider picture like the one above I learned the genus Latrodectus was erected by Walckenaer in 1805. (Erected is not a word I would have chosen here, but much of this bit is lifted verbatim from a weighty tome, including the use of that word in this sentence so I’m sure it is scientifically correct).  Arachnologist Herbert Walter Levi revised the genus in 1959, studying the female sexual organs (one does wonder) and noting their similarity across described species. He concluded the color variations were variable across the world and were not sufficient to warrant species status, and reclassified the redback and several other species as subspecies of the black widow spider.
       Levi also noted that study of the genus had been contentious; in 1902, both F.P Cambridge and Friedrich Dahl had revised the genus, with each being highly critical of the other. Cambridge questioned Dahl's separating species on what he considered minor anatomical details, and the latter dismissed the former as an "ignoramus".
      (I here rest my case that men will fight over absolutely anything.)
          Anyway, I was careful about my personal Latrodectus and watched for her presence every day before reaching for the water tap. Then, one bright sunny morning, she was gone.
        “Not good,” thought I, scanning the entire area for her potentially deadly presence.
       As my eyes roamed over the bricks, noting the bits of moss, the gray and crumbly bits of baked clay, the small lizard about a foot away, the cracks in the wall itself, and then back over everything again ... and yet again ... I suddenly looked thoughtfully at that lizard.
     “You there,” I said, speaking directly to it. “Did you by any chance eat my spider?”
      The lizard looked directly back at me and then, slowly, dropped one eyelid in a clear and crafty wink. It then yawned widely and, I swear, smiled before settling her face back into its normal little lizardy expression. I never bothered looking for the spider again.
      I’ve been interested in the natural order of things since childhood, so I was quite excited to be back in a country with an active “Green” political party.
       “Hot diggidy dog, “ I said, using words from my childhood that have since been replaced by the “F” word in America and elsewhere.
But I quickly learned the Green Party doesn’t appear to have the strength I had hoped it would have. Yes, it’s on the ballots, but very few people seem to be ticking that box on election days.
It seems to me Green Party concerns should be everyone’s concerns, especially with those younger voters already now dealing with climate change, with the declining numbers of human sperm (by half over the past 40 years) and pesticides lodged in our brains and babies, to name but a few of the current horrors happening out there in nature land. Yet jobs, money, housing, schooling and health care seem to take precedence in both the news and offices of power.
Money especially tops the charts which, since it is just something we made up and agreed to use, seems very silly compared to, say, the worldwide famine our species faces should all our little honeybees and other pollinators suddenly go belly up.
And, alas, our busy little bees are indeed falling off the perch at a very alarming rate, yet only a comparative handful of the billions of people on this planet seem all that bothered about it.
Back in the 1960s (yes, I’m that old), the Rachel Carson book “Silent Spring” caught the attention of pretty much everyone in the United States. Laws with real teeth to protect the environment and the banning of the insecticide DDT came out of it. Then everyone went back to sleep and newer and even more deadly poisons were eventually developed, subsidized and then unleashed across the agricultural and urban world.
Today, in addition to the DDT my generation still carries in our cells, we ALL carry those newer toxins inside our bodies in ever increasing amounts. How can this possibly be good?

But then, the excellent documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” wasn’t able to convince half of voting Americans to accept climate change as a real threat to our planet, despite their country having now annually logged ever record-breaking high temperatures since the turn of this century. (I read just last night where most Trump supporters DO actually believe our climate is changing, so how then could they vote for him? Oh yes, that's right, he was going to replace national health care with his new and improved model and build a wall. How’s that working for you, Trump people?)
Then there’s the scorched earth policy of today’s millions of acre wildfires in the American west, the larger than ever before super tornados in the mid-west, and those blizzard conditions every winter in the north-east - while middle-of-America Michigan, which used to have lots of snowfall in the winter, now some years hardly has any.  
Horrific weather events are reported almost nightly on American television news, so is the climate changing in America? You think???

But perhaps thinking is too much to ask of a population having brains soaked in agricultural pesticides and bodies nourished on modern dwarf wheat, soy, corn, and all those other GMO foods?

In the wee hours, when I can’t sleep because of pondering thoughts like those above, Fright-the-Spider really doesn’t really seem very frightening after all.  
p.s. - As an author, I’m always interested in getting people to read, but many people today tell me they no longer have time for reading books. Here’s a tip: Put whatever book it is you’d like to read into the bathroom beside the toilet and then check under the seat for spiders. At some point during the day you’ll at least have the opportunity to read there for a few minutes. Eventually those minutes and words will all add up and before you know it you will have finished that weighty tome. You’re welcome.
p.p.s. - You may have noticed the text in this blog above changed sizes and spacing from time to time. I’m very sorry about that.  I’d like to tell you I did this to keep your attention, but that would be a lie. My computer arbitrarily and quite randomly makes these kinds of decisions for me and then won’t let me fix them. My computer is a control freak.

 



 




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