​

I am currently reposting all 100 previously posted blogs that contain what I've learned about staying sober. Because AA has continued to work for a drunk like me since 1981, I know it can work for you. You'll have some real adventures along your sober way!

               Keep Coming Back!

If you wish to contact me personally with your comments, my email is: o.kay.dockside@gmail.com

Sunday, May 30, 2021
 
Made a Decision (15)

 “The Steps protect me from myself;

the Traditions protect AA from me.”

         Traditions 10, 11 and 12

There's an AA saying - "If you want to hide something from an alcoholic, put it in the Big Book."

I'm going to now add to that, "And if you can't find your Big Book, just put it in the Twelve and Twelve."

These two books - the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - teach AA members  exactly what the AA Program offers us. What works - and what doesn't.

Members who don't like to read can find both books in an audio format. There are also AA book study meetings for both online and in person meetings all over the world. So there are really no excuses for not knowing what's in there. 

When we do not know what is contained in these books we actually do not know the AA program. 

We'll hear a lot of different ideas in our meetings that have nothing to do with what AA actually teaches about staying sober. Some of those ideas we'll hear are actually quite helpful, but many are not.

 When we have learned what our AA literature really says, we can make use of what others have to offer that will be helpful - and more easily reject suggestions that won't.

You might stay sober without knowing the two books, of course. You might even stay sober for years. But will you have the best quality sober life that's available to us?

 I really - seriously - doubt it.

                I am now going to quote something from AA's 12 & 12. 

Don't panic - I've broken it down into small easy chunks for you. Here goes:


The Washingtonian Society, a movement among alcoholics which started in Baltimore a century ago, almost discovered the answer to alcoholism.

 At first, the society was composed entirely of alcoholics trying to help one another. The early members foresaw that they should dedicate themselves to this sole aim. In many respects, the Washingtonians were akin to A.A. of today. 

Their membership passed the hundred thousand mark.

 Had they been left to themselves, and had they stuck to their one goal, they might have found the rest of the answer. But this didn't happen. 

Instead, the Washingtonians permitted politicians and reformers, both alcoholic and nonalcoholic, to use the society for their own purposes.

 Abolition of slavery, for example, was a stormy political issue then. Soon, Washingtonian speakers violently and publicly took sides on this question. Maybe the society could have survived the abolition controversy, but it didn't have a chance from the moment it determined to reform America's drinking habits.

 When the Washingtonians became temperance crusaders, within a very few years they had completely lost their effectiveness in helping alcoholics.
                                                                          Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 178



The reason I have quoted this from the 12 & 12 is because, while every tradition is important to the survival of AA, none are more so than Tradition Ten. 

The very thought of misusing the tenth tradition has the power to frighten me. 

It follows:

Tradition Ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

It's possible some of our very own ancestors died of our disease after the Washingtonian Society folded, giving our forebears nowhere to turn to for help.

 Dr. Bob and Bill W. were very familiar with the history of the Washingtonian Society and its effectiveness in helping alcoholics. They were also familiar with how that organization crashed and burned.

They knew about the Oxford Group and its efforts to help alcoholics, too. It was 
a Christian organization that taught the root of all problems were the personal problems of fear and selfishness.

 The Oxford Group still reaches out today to alcoholics and addicts with its principles for recovery. AA's founders used and expanded upon those same principles in the writing of our own 12-steps.

So - as it recommends in our books - our founders made use of what religion had to offer. They also reminded us of the dangers inherent in going outside our own sphere of knowledge when they gave us our Tradition Ten.

Some Bullet Points for Tradition Ten:

1. Individual members have every right to hold opinions on any subject, but sharing those opinions at the public level while identifying as a member of AA is an AA no-no.

2. No individual AA member is “the voice” of AA, either in meetings or in public. 

3. Tradition Ten prevents our good ship of recovery from breaking up on the rocks the way the Washingtonian Society did.

All the Traditions dovetail nicely into one another, but none do so more than Traditions Ten, Eleven and Twelve, so it's logical to expect more about staying on topic as it does in Tradition Eleven.

Tradition Eleven: Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films. 

(My note: also on television and every form of social media).

There have been instances in AA’s history of celebrities getting sober in AA, bragging about their sobriety in public while giving all credit to AA, and then later they had a relapse sending them back to the bottle - and more ugly headlines over their drunken antics.Their actions have caused some still-suffering alcoholics to doubt AA’s effectiveness and to never reach out for its help.

Bullet Points for Tradition Eleven

1.  While we may not be celebrities, we may still hunger for attention. Tradition Eleven reins in our eager egos.

My own sponsor often says in meetings: "When I got sober I wanted to become famous in an anonymous program." 😆

(In our service actions it never hurts to question if we are genuinely trying to help AA  or are busy stoking our own egos?)

2. We can certainly share our experience, strength and hope with friends, family, and those in need of our 12-step help. But we must keep our AA anonymity on public platforms (newspapers, magazines, videos, personal Facebook pages, television, etc.) by not allowing ourselves to be identified by our surnames.

 
3. Social Media is of special concern for misuse of Tradition Eleven. Newcomers, ignorant of our Traditions, sometimes post direct reference of other AA members by name on these platforms, breaking their anonymity without a moment's hesitation. 

(Sponsors need to share the Traditions with their newcomers very early on!)

4. Finally - while I personally believe more people need to know that AA works in the long term to rehabilitate alcoholics and turn them into productive, useful citizens - in doing so we must still always follow Tradition Eleven on every media platform.

We can share that important message of successful long-term sobriety because of AA, but must still protect our anonymity - and the anonymity of others - in the process. 

And in 12-step work, it's always also best to acknowledge that AA (wonderful as it truly is) is also not the only path to sobriety. Alcoholics have - and do - get sober and stay sober elsewhere. We just happen to have the best track record. 

We are to carry the message - not the alcoholic. We can only share that it has worked for us and suggest someone might want to give it a try. If they chose another path, acceptance - not an argument - is our answer. 

 Today's note: I have just started a YouTube channel about the disease of alcoholism and the recovery from same, but you will not find my surname anywhere on it. Since I no longer travel and now live in a very isolated place, I'm also certain I won't be personally encountering any regular YouTube watchers. 

 I'm doing the videos only after many discussions with trusted AA friends and MUCH soul searching. I truly believe more information about recovery from alcoholism needs to be shared publicly, especially following the huge bump in alcohol consumption that began during the Covid lockdowns. 

Tradition Twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, reminding us always to place principles before personalities.

One of the first things we learn in AA is there is a Higher Power in charge of the universe - and it isn't us.

We take no credit for our sobriety. We tried (and tried, and tried, and tried) to get sober and failed miserably until we "came to believe" there was a power greater than ourselves who could ... and would ... and did ... give us the gift of sobriety. (Even if, in early days, we merely saw that Higher Power as the collective wisdom found in our AA groups).

And we learn over time to rely on Tradition Twelve during those times when sticky problems develop within our home group. We don't get into shouting matches. We pause and remember to put the perfect principles of AA recovery before the desires of our imperfect personalities.

Alcoholics often have great enthusiasm and that’s a good thing when reaching out to another suffering alcoholic with the news they don’t have to drink again, that there is help at hand in AA. But … (see the second bullet point for Tradition Eleven.)

Bullet Points for Tradition Twelve:

1. An alcoholic in recovery needs to check their ego at all times, especially so when they find themselves thinking “My way or the highway.”

2. “Attraction rather than promotion” is our goal.

3. The spiritual principles of AA are perfect. We are not.

4. When in doubt, don’t.

     Our Traditions are what hold us together as a program of recovery for all alcoholics in need of help. 

Where would YOU be right now had our founders not hammered these guideliines out that have held AA together all these years? 

What would you do today if AA collapsed like earlier recovery programs did - and YOU had no more fellowship to help keep you sober? 

Knowing and practicing our Traditions is our debt owed to all those who kept AA in place for us to find in our hour of greatest need.

We also owe our fellow members - and ourselves - an obligation to keep AA strong for all of us here in recovery.

 

And finally, we owe a debt to those still suffering alcoholics in need of what AA has to offer; those drinking today - and our still unborn future members - all those who will carry AA forward when we ourselves have gone to that "Big Meeting in the Sky."

 

​

I am currently reposting all 100 previously posted blogs that contain what I've learned about staying sober. Because AA has continued to work for a drunk like me since 1981, I know it can work for you. You'll have some real adventures along your sober way!

               Keep Coming Back!

If you wish to contact me personally with your comments, my email is: o.kay.dockside@gmail.com

Monday, May 24, 2021

 Made A Decision

(14)

The Steps and 12 Traditions and Why we “Work” Them.

Here we are back talking about The Traditions again.

Yay!

This blog is about Traditions Six, Seven, Eight and Nine. And once again, to the critical eye, they can sound boring. Trust me on this, they're not.

          “The Steps protect me from myself; the​ Traditions​ protect AA from me.”

Each tradition became a tradition because they were needed to protect AA from others - and from ourselves - and they often overlap in supporting that goal.

Tradition Six: An A.A. group should never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise ...

(and why not?)

... lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

Newcomers to AA can often "fall in love" with the AA program and want to use it to change the entire world.

They forget they're in AA to learn how to be sober, productive and somewhat normal human beings, not societal wrecking balls hell bent on tearing down existing opinions about alcoholism and to replace them with AA doctrine.

Our program history is filled with such enthusiasm, groups wanting to establish huge treatment hospitals, rewrite medical texts, provide housing for all down-and-out drunks and there to sober them up, and so on.

(The book the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions provides you with the full text on such attempts.​ It's a great and often hilarious read. One I can highly recommend.)

The ranks of recovering alcoholics are filled with many promoters, big dreamers, schemers and hard-chargers. So, in essence, Tradition Six is all about keeping the collective egos of our group members in check.

 "Easy Does It," and all that!

​    Bullet Points about Tradition Six:

1. An AA group needs to always focus on the actions of its own sphere of influence.  

2. For instance, we don't sponsor the activities of an alcoholic treatment centre, but we can carry the AA message via meetings into such facilities when invited to do so. 

3. We don’t finance other treatment programs, remaining self-supporting to meet our own needs for carrying AA’s own message. 

4.  We don’t brag about A.A. being the only solution for alcoholism. While we do have the best track record in that regard, ours is not the only path to sobriety.

Tradition Seven: Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

Here again we're dealing with balance. Early AA members hoped for big donations from corporations to help them spread the AA message. None came.

Our Higher Power, you see, knew what would happen to our "promoters, big dreamers, schemers and hard-chargers" if they had wads of cash to splash.

Eventually we, of necessity, adopted the more moderate goals of keeping it simple and letting go of our ambitions to allow God to guide us.

​           (Be grateful.)​

         “We can't think our way through things. We have to live our way through them - with HP’s help and guidance.”

Bullet Points for Tradition Seven:

1. Each group should have a Treasurer. The person having that responsibility should give members a financial report on a fairly regular basis (as determined in a group conscience meeting).

2. If a group is not meeting its financial responsibilities, like rent, purchasing literature, contributing to the General Service Office, etc., the group’s Treasurer must inform the group. Members then can decide on a course of action to improve its financial condition.

3. A group must never borrow money to meet its needs or accept donations from well-meaning, but uninformed, people not affiliated with the AA program "lest problems of money, property or prestige divert us from our primary purpose.​ (In other words, we don't accept or seek bribes, gifts, or glory). 

4. The group treasurer should ideally be a member having a year or more of continuous sobriety.

Tradition Eight: Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

The "special workers" referred to in this Tradition are mainly clerical or janitorial.

AA members are NOT therapists, social workers, or treatment experts. Some of us may be employed in those fields, but we do​ not present as experts ​in AA to our fellow members.

Within AA we are all just recovering alcoholic/addicts. Our interaction with fellow members is based on our own experience about the strength and hope we've gained from AA's 12-Step program of recovery.

​An AA group (or clubhouse​) may, however, hire people to perform tasks needed by the group (or facility). The persons hired  and paid for their services can be AA members or non-AA members. 

Bullet Points for Tradition Eight:

 1. Service centres (AA offices and clubhouses) sometimes have to employ people to keep up with paperwork, do timely mail outs, clean the facilities, and perform other services where volunteers are not always available (or - sadly - reliable). 

2. Special workers employed and paid for their special services can be AA members, or non-AA members.

3. I have used boldface type in #2 because there is often a lot of confusion in this area in AA groups unfamiliar with our Traditions.

        ​ Example: If an AA member works as a cleaner or janitor and volunteers to clean our AA clubhouse or meeting room, that's great. But if our group needs to hires him or her for those services, we pay them the going rate. 

4. "The laborer is worthy of his hire." Luke 10:7

Tradition Nine: A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

AA is very loosely organized, with each group remaining autonomous (self-governing) over its own sphere of responsibilities.

For the larger business structure of AA as a whole we rely on - and make financial contributions to - our AA service offices.

Each group elects its own officers, some to handle its own internal affairs (secretary, treasurer, etc.) and others to represent us in district committees. 

​When conflicts arise within a group we hold a Group Conscience Meeting. If those problems are not resolved in that meeting we can turn to our General Service Office for guidance based on the collective experience of AA groups worldwide. 

Bullet Points for Tradition Nine:

1. We don't attempt to reinvent the wheel. When our group encounters problems we can't fix, we turn to our AA service offices for solutions based on our Traditions and their experience.

2. AA's General Service Offices house the collective wisdom and history of problem solving. It's available when needed to all regional service offices, groups, and individual members.

3. The address for the GSO in the USA is: A.A. World Services, Inc., P.O. Box 459,Grand Central Station, New York, NY, 10163.

4. The address for AA's General Service Office in the UK is: "Alcoholics Anonymous, PO Box 1, 10 Toft Green, York YO1 7NJ. 

5. Outside the USA and UK members are advised to contact the Alcoholics Anonymous General Service Office in their own country.
   

.

The next blog will be all about Traditions 10, 11 and 12. I can't wait to figure out what I actually know about them. Hoping you feel the same.

 

I am currently reposting all 100 previously posted blogs that contain what I've learned about staying sober. Because AA has continued to work for a drunk like me since 1981, I know it can work for you. You'll have some real adventures along your sober way!

               Keep Coming Back!

If you wish to contact me personally with your comments, my email is: o.kay.dockside@gmail.com

Monday, May 17, 2021

Made A Decision

​         Traditions One through Five​

Our A.A. Traditions are the key to the unity, functioning, and​ ​even the survival of Alcoholics Anonymous.​​

​   

“The Steps protect me from myself;  the Traditions protect AA from me.”

Most newcomers to AA find the AA Traditions boring. 

I was no exception.

But over time I have come to marvel at the miracle contained within them - ie: their ability against all odds to herd cats (alcoholics) into a cohesive, functioning and lasting unit.

The Traditions are our Magna Carta and our Constitution, because they are the outline and blueprint for our governance. They guide us smoothly through all the thorny problems that can arise in any organization.

A glance at the evening news will confirm AA's Traditions appear to work better than the rules and regulations used by the leadership in any of the world nations today.

And yes, I recognize that AA has only one stated mission while governments have many - but still!

Without our traditions we, too, could be at each other's throats. Our program could crumble (as others​ did​, like the Oxford Group​ that inspired AA's founders​), sentencing us all - old timers, long timers, newcomers, and those yet to find their way to AA - to the deadly threat inherent in our disease.

Learning what the Traditions of AA are, what they stand for, what they do, is as important to the health of our fellowship as our learning and applying the 12 Steps is to our personal recovery.

Like I said - miracle. But we must know our Traditions, and use them, to keep AA safe for us all.​ ​Here's what AA's founders had to say about them, in part:

​"The Twelve Traditions point straight at many of our individual defects. By implication they ask each of us to lay aside pride and resentments. They ask for personal as well as group sacrifice.

​"​ They ask us never to use the A.A. name in any quest for personal power or distinction or money.

​"​ The Traditions guarantee the equality of all members and the independence of all groups. 

​"​They show how we may best relate ourselves to each other and to the world outside."
Bill W.,
1967 AAWS, Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, p. 96

​

Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity. 

When we gossip about fellow members, when we are unkind to them to their face, when we form little AA cliques that exclude others​,​ or indulge in other such behaviors, we run the risk of causing a member to give up on AA and leave the fellowship.

In effect, sentencing them to isolation, suffering and death.

If we are unhappy in our group, if we're caught up in infighting and power struggles there, we can simply walk away and find another group - or start one.

There's an old AA saying: "The only thing we need to start a new group is a resentment and a coffee pot." I've started eight of them.

(Clearly I know a lot about "resentments.")

Groups with ongoing power struggles don't survive.

They may have a "Bleeding Deacon" at the helm, an old timer who won't let go of the reins and wants to control every meeting and the behavior of its members.

Or they may have members who put forth their own ideas of how the group should be run and won't compromise or consider the input of other group members.

A group may struggle with any number of control issues - including members who turn the meetings into social gripe sessions and avoid learning the solutions to their problems.

Groups - even very large groups - may stagger along for quite awhile with these kinds of problems, but in the end their membership will fall away, they will not attract new members, and they will die.

Such groups have forgotten - or never even learned - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity."

Some bullet points about Tradition One:

1. We are very social in AA, but AA is not a social club. ​We meet there together to keep one another alive.​ It is important to remember that.
   

2. We are in AA to stay alive by staying sober. Any behavior that threatens that goal is a danger to ​others and to the fellowship of​ AA​ itself​.

3. Gossip, rudeness, judgments, lies, fault-finding, pettiness, unkindness, thoughtfulness, and etc. can destroy an AA group and/or cause a member to give up on AA and go back to drinking. 

4.  ​​There is NO CURE for alcoholism/addiction. There is only remission of our disease through abstinence. Drinking for us​, or the use of other mind-altering substances to replace drinking,​ is a death sentence​ for us.

5. ​O​ur own bad behavior (see #3) can be a death sentence for another member. 

Tradition Two: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants. They do not govern.

Whenever a “trusted servant” consistently tells the group what it needs to do, should do, must do - and ignores input conflicting with their wishes - they can no longer be trusted.

The health of an AA group depends upon its reliance on its Higher Power and not on any one or two members. ​

Bullet Points for Tradition Two:

1. A group conscience meeting should always begin with a brief prayer asking for guidance.

2. The views of any person at a group conscience meeting (or any meeting) should be heard with respect and courtesy.

3. Decisions made in a group conscience meeting need to be a consensus of those in attendance.

4. A thank you to our Higher Power (while not always done) is appropriate at meeting's end for all decisions ​that have been ​made.

Tradition Three: The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.

That's pretty clear cut, isn't it? You wouldn't think an AA group could get confused over Tradition Three, but historically they have, and may yet again over issues we haven't even thought of yet.

AA groups have become confused in the distant ​- ​and not-so-distant past ​- ​about letting women join the fellowship, or gay people, those suffering various mental issues, members of various religious affiliations - and even addicts!

That last one I find hilarious, given that Doctor Bob could write his own prescription for drugs, and did - and that Bill W. once thought everyone should drop acid for the spiritual experience it offered. 

Our founders were not saints, they were recovering drunks. 

We're the same.

Some bullet points for Tradition Three:

1. This tradition is our guarantee to newcomers that we are - and will be - here for them.

2. This tradition guarantees we will meet, learn from, and come to love people that without ​our membership in ​AA we would never have even known.​ It ​ensures we will get what we need in AA from the rich exposure to the many and varied people​ ​there.

​3​. From the atheist we learn to ponder our own spirituality; from boring, long-winded or opinionated speakers we learn patience and tolerance; from those with serious life problems we learn gratitude for our own more serene lives ... and the list goes on.

Tradition Four: Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.

This means that my home group needs to keep its nose out of the business of other groups, unless the actions of another group are affecting the health of my own group, or when that group’s behavior has become damaging to all of AA.

All groups run into problems from time to time. Staying focused on correcting our own issues will help keep us from fault-finding other AA  groups.

Bullet Points for Tradition Four:  

1. AA’s General Service Office has proven solutions (suggestions) for dealing with every kind of group problem that may arise.

2. Any group or group member can contact the General Service Office for information or advice when help is needed.

3. It's a ​very ​good idea to get that help before things get too far out of hand.

Tradition Five: Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

Despite ​their​ very social aspects, AA meetings are our "medicine;" our insurance against the need for ever picking up a drink again.

Every single AA group throughout the world exists to help suffering alcoholics find their way out of their alcoholic Hell - and to help them remain sober by working the AA program of recovery.

Healthy AA groups meet that primary purpose by offering varied outreach programs to people inside AA and/or in their communities.

        These include:

Educational workshops for AA members;

Sponsoring Fourth Step workshops;

Taking meetings into alcoholism treatment facilities;

Inviting doctors, nurses, police, judges and paramedics to attend open AA meetings; 

Hosting community information workshops about AA for the public,

and etc.

Bullet Points on Tradition Five:

1. Is your home group involved in any of the outreach programs given in the paragraph above?

2. If not, why not?

3. Healthy AA groups boost healthy personal recovery.​ They also support outreach programs to help those still suffering from our fatal disease.​

4. HP didn't get us sober to sit on our arse and do nothing.

5. Our JOB is to help the still-suffering alcoholic - as others have helped us.​​

More good stuff ahead. In the next blog we'll have a look at Traditions Six through Nine.