Made A Decision

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                                            H.A.L.T.

When we get frazzled our AA friends will sometimes caution us to H.A.L.T., reminding us of the dangers in allowing ourselves to become too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," was always my first response to these little AA homilies when still in my early recovery, but I've since learned these seemingly trite sayings only become part of AA's legacy because they are so bloody true.

We will discover (over time) that when we find ourselves annoyed, anxious, confused, sad, fatigued or furious, most likely one (or more) of the letters in the word HALT is the root cause of our distress. 

Take hunger for instance:

 

Alcoholics tend to be either-or people. We can often fix schedules for ourselves so tight there's not enough time to get everything done ... so what can we jettison?

Too often it's a meal. 

"I'll eat when I get home," we say. And then our day keeps on going past tea time and all the way into late night without a bit of anything nourishing crossing our lips. 

(Oh, we might grab a bag of crisps or a candy bar along the way, but junk food doesn't fuel our bodies or satisfy real hunger, it just take the edge off for a bit).

Ever heard of blood sugar fluctuations? Guess what? Long stretches of time without eating or staying properly hydrated can cause them, leading to huge mood swings, shortness of breath, confusion, dizziness, blurred vision, vomiting, seizures ... and the list goes on.

Did you notice that first one? That huge mood swings one? 

Mental balance is what all of us in recovery are aiming for, because first and foremost, having huge swings in mood can undermine our determination to stay sober. The low end of those mood swings can trigger the statement "What's the use?"

 And that can be fatal to people like us.  

Low moods lead straight to self-pity and self-pity can lead to that other old AA saying: "Poor me, Poor me, Pour me a drink."

So when it's time to stop and eat, stop and eat already. 

Your body and brain will thank you for it.

Anger:

 

Alcoholics readily go to anger, aiming it at others or turning it inward at ourselves. I was an outer. 

When I got to AA I could start a fight in an empty room. Or, as one AA friend who is very much like me recently shared, "I was so angry when I got here I would have drowned your goldfish."

It can take a long time to overcome our triggers leading to rage and anger, so learning to avoid situations that can cause them ... hunger and fatigue being big ones ... is in our own best interest. 

(And it's certainly a benefit to those who have to be around us!)

Those in recovery who turn their anger inward on themselves put themselves at risk for massive depression, a depression that can lead to suicide. 

Too dramatic? Nope. 

Many struggling alcoholics go for that permanent solutions to their temporary problems. I have personally known a number of people in AA who ended their lives with a bullet, at the end of a rope, or took a header off a cliff. Others chose the longer and more brutal way out ... they drank.

Anger is dangerous to an alcoholic. Drinking alcoholics can turn homicidal. They are often charged with domestic abuse. They can be the root cause of deadly road rage. They can commit crimes in an alcoholic blackout and not even remember them. When they say so, lawyers, judges, partners, friends and the public - those having not experienced a blackout - won't believe them. 

A blackout is when we drink and drive and seduce and otherwise behave irresponsibly and have absolutely no memory of our activities when we sober up. 

Not all alcoholics have blackouts - but medically, no non-alcoholics have them. So if you are still wondering if you really are an alcoholic and have had alcoholic blackouts, worry no more. You are one of us.

 Alcoholics who are no longer drinking really do need to find ways to deal with their anger - from counting slowly to ten to avoid losing our temper, taking long walks to blow off steam, or even by doing that last thing we usually think of - asking our Higher Power to help us cool down.

Anger can kill. It's best we avoid it.  

Lonely:

Alcoholics often say they're lonely when what they mean is they want to be in a committed romantic relationship. 

The problem is, we usually don't arrive in AA on a winning streak when it comes to romance. 

As we often hear in the rooms of AA - "I didn't take lovers. I took hostages." 

And we did. 

And we do. 

We're so afraid of NEVER having a relationship again that we jump into relationships that should never have happened in the first place. Dating is a horrible uncertain experience for many of us. We want to get past the dating to when we can lock him/her down. 

Many marriages between alcoholics happen within three months of them meeting. In my case we met at the end of February and married on April 19th. We then then devoted the next eleven years to the kind of marriage where the police were called to settle marital disputes.

Romance is slippery ground for us. More people lose their sobriety over relationships gone bad than to any other cause. (That's a personal observation over my time in AA, but I'd bet cash money actual statistics will bear me out.) And I don't preach from the mountain top. I've learned the hard way it's far worse being inside a painful relationship than doing without one for a time. 

Learning who we are, what we like, what we want - all the things recovery teaches us - is the true gateway to finding finding a person who will love and support us in the ways we most need, not just another sparring partner.

We attract what we are. Become the best version of yourself by using the AA toolbox. Better days lie ahead!

Lonely people have not yet learned they are terrific company in and of themselves. 

Nor have they yet connected with their Higher Power in a way that takes away their lonliness. 

These are two of the many gifts recovery offers us ... we just have to have a bit of patience to discover them.

But alcoholics are impatient by nature. We "want what we want when we want it." Learning patience is part of our recovery. And when we're feeling lonely the cure is as near as a meeting - zoom or in person.

 

Even just a phone call to another person in recovery can lift our spirits and wrap us up in the cozy feeling of belonging. Try it the next time you find yourself searching in the attic for that ball and chain left from your last failed relationships, the hobble you are now hoping to attach to someone new. 

Tired:

Kids are honest about their feelings. Babies raise hell when they're hungry or tired. Toddlers even throw tantrums. Sadly, so do we.

Being T (tired) ranks right up there with H.A.L. in being dangerous for an alcoholic. But many of us have trouble sleeping. Insomnia can be part of our mental wiring. I know I have always had it. Not so much now, but it can still flare up from time to time. 

And in today's world a lot of jobs require shift work, where we work around the clock. I've worked shift work and I guarantee it can absolutely fuck up your sleep patterns.

 I did a lot of research on this for a book I wrote some years ago, but it all boiled down to this:

 "People who work differing shifts never adjust fully to a single schedule. Their brains, to meet work demands, must fight off sleep, and then, when that over-stimulated brain is finally laid to rest on a pillow, it often resists sleep - making a full 'night's' sleep impossible."

Within my lifetime (77 years worth as of this writing) our species has - worldwide - completely changed sleep habits that have existed during humankind's entire evolutionary process. No wonder we're tired all the time!

 And when alcoholics become overly tired our moods shift downward into angry, sad, lonely, or being generally negative about all aspects of our lives. It isn't a very big leap from there to climbing back inside a bottle.

Some of us need eight or more hours of sleep to function well, and that's OK ... even in a world where almost everyone we meet is running around on six hours sleep or less. Getting enough sleep is part of self-care and it's a sign of good mental health to make being well-rested a priority.

One of the interesting side effects of the Covid 19 pandemic has been in forcing people into lockdown and thus, by default, forcing them to slow down. Two of my sponsees, who resisted my every suggestion they try for a slower paced life, have told me they now understand that concept because of their time spent in lockdown. 

But others in lockdown (many of them in my own family) haven't learned a thing about becoming human beings rather than humans doing. 

I wish I had learned to slow my life sooner. I had all the information, but I am nothing if not hard-headed and resistant to doing anything that might actually be good for me. 

Don't be a me.

I lived a fast-paced adrenaline-fueled existence for much of my life. I now live a life where smelling the roses is actually doable. From those experiences I have learned -  just like when having good sex - slow really is better. 

 

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                          Our AA Literature 

               and why we might consider reading some of it.

Meetings are where we go to learn from the experience, strength and hope of others how they work our program of recovery. Meetings are our medicine, they are what we use to directly treat our terminal, fatal, illness.

There are also many, many good ideas for ongoing recovery that are not part of AA's teachings. We will hear them promoted in meetings, too. (Journaling being just one of them.) 

We'll hear a lot of good stuff in meetings. But we'll hear a lot of crap in meetings from time to time, too. We will sometimes be subjected to some very confusing ideas from some very ill and confused people.

So how are we to know what is - or is not - the undiluted program of AA recovery? What can we take on board that will help us and not hurt us?

That's where our literature comes in. That's where we can know for certain what is actually the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

 Our literature is our preventive medicine. We study it to keep our terminal, fatal, illness in remission.

There are Big Book Study Groups on our book Alcoholics Anonymous, and on our book The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, in every part of the world. I've also noticed the people who attend them usually have a very good track record in racking up long-term sobriety.

For those who have difficulty reading, all our literature can also be found in audio forms, so there's really no good excuse for ducking the opportunity to know what AA is really all about.

In addition to our Big Book and the 12&12 (my personal favorite), there's a wealth of other available books helpful to anyone in recovery. Some - like Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers - deal with the (often hilarious) history of our program. 

Others, like Living Sober, can keep us on track with proven suggestions for staying sober from those who have continued to do so. And then there's The Little Red Book and Our Devilish Alcoholic Personalities, two books that describe alcoholics to a T. 

My copy of The Little Red Book came to me in one of the earliest months of my recovery. A fellow member said I might find it helpful, handed it to me, and ran for the high ground. (I was not known for my sweet disposition in those days, nor for my willingness to accept anything I might consider as criticism). 

Then there are the books for our daily contemplation like: The 24-Hour Book, Night Lights, As Bill Sees It, Daily Reflections, and many, many more. 

I have a large number of them and rotate them in January each year to give myself four "fresh" ones for my daily readings over the 12 months ahead. 

My personal favorite, and the fifth of my daily reads every single year, is called Believing in Myself. I've given dozens of copies of this little life-saver to AA friends over the years. And I read it myself every single year.

 But ... (insert dramatic music here) ... it isn't even Conference Approved Literature!

As you gasp at that news, I'm going to jump right in to tell you that - factually (unlike in the Al-Anon program) -  there is no such thing as AA Approved Literature. But boy-oh-boy are you going to open a can of worms when you tell some AA groups that.

Our earliest AA groups, under the direct leadership of our founders, Dr. Bob and Bill Wilson, read from many sources and authors, both privately and in meetings. These include the Holy Bible, the Upper Room, Oswald Chamers, Cecil Rose, Leslie Weatherhead, Sam Shoemaker, the books of Emmet Fox, Richmond Walker, Ralph Pfau, and many, many more. 

According to the General Service Office itself:

"It (Conference Approved) does not mean the Conference disapproves of any other publications .... A.A. as a whole does not oppose these, any more than A.A. disapproves of the Bible or any other publications from any source that A.A.’s find useful." 

So basically, each autonomous AA group can use any literature it wants to without consulting guidance from any higher authority. 

(Be prepared, however, to find disbelief from many AA members when you say so.)

While study groups are helpful, offering as they do the different interpretations of other members, it is also helpful to read the Big Book and 12&12 on our own. In them we'll find passages that resonate with us. We can highlight them and then think about them until they become fixed in our minds. There is no real substitute for this kind of contemplation. 

Being a writer (and feminist), I didn't at first like what I considered the sexist word usage in the Big Book, written as it was in the language of its era. I even for an ego-driven time considered rewriting it, but somehow never found the time. Good thing, too. Messing around with that text could seriously have screwed up its message.  

The Big Book gives us the full exposition of the AA program in it's now somewhat antiquated text. Over time I have found there is no substitute for reading the Big Book as written. It is our “Bible.” When we study it thoroughly it becomes a part of ourselves.

As for the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, it's a wonderful read and I can't begin to guess how many times I have now read it. 

I still participate in a weekly 12 & 12 study meeting and every time we read it - and because I believe I am always evolving as a person in recovery - I bring new eyes to the text. I know I continue to learn from it every single time.

I used to travel between the UK and the states at least once a year in the 1990s and I always read the 12& 12 on those flights. It's the perfect length book to get you nicely across the Atlantic. 

And, because I don't like flying, I also figured God wouldn't knock a plane out of the sky where someone inside was reading one of His books. 

Yes, I actually used to think that way.  I'm soooooo glad I've kept on coming back.

 

Made a Decision 

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                            A.A.  

        Adventurers' Anonymous!!!

The people in AA will often tell you that recovery will give you a life beyond your wildest dreams. It's a phrase found in our literature. We will hear it quoted often in meetings. But what exactly does it mean?

It means just what it says!

During our drinking careers, in those infrequent times when we weren't drinking, we didn't tend to dream big dreams. We were too busy hanging on, sometimes by a mere thread, to our jobs, families and reputations. 

But when we drank during our drinking days our dreams were grandiose, world-changing, powerful - and pointless. They never came to fruition, because as soon as we briefly sobered up we'd fall into the hopelessness of alcoholic depression.

Then came AA. There we met people living their dreams and over time we began to dream some dreams of our own. We started to recognize our obligation to give ourselves the best life that we could.

For some that meant going back to school to complete our education. For others it was learning a new skill set

 - from learning to swim to driving a car -

(and just about everything in between). 

For me it was taking on the challenge of a new career after nearly 30 years as a journalist. Later it meant writing a book, and then another book, and then a few more. Some have enjoyed an amount of published success, others just live inside my computer. 

I've also lived in three different states and two countries during my time in recovery, with all the adventures inherent in those moves. 

Most recently it's about producing this weekly blog on recovery. After all, my second biological clock is now ticking louder than ever, and before it stops altogether, this venue lets me pass along a few of the things I've learned. Sharing my experience, strength and hope with others is one of the things I've learned to do in AA. 

Doing so helps keep me - or any of us - sober.

But what if you're not feeling the adventure? What if your recovery has hit a dull spot? What if everything seems a bit flat? 

That's when you get out your shovel and dig deeper. It says in our literature there's much more gold to be had for those who seek it. 

The Big Big Book (Bible) puts it this way:  

"Knock and it shall be opened unto you." 

Or as we say in AA: "It works when we work it."

Consider working ALL the steps if you haven't yet done so. Or consider working them again. After all, you are now no longer the person who did them the first time. More insights may be just waiting there to help you toward having your own great adventures.

Get to more meetings. In this time of zoom we can attend meetings 24/7 anywhere in the world. There is no excuse left for ducking a meeting, especially when we remember our meetings are the medicine we take for what ails us. We now have a ready-made pick-me-up anytime we need one. How great is that?

Do you ever have the feeling you should be further along in your recovery than you are? That the people around you in a meeting, some with a lot less sober time than you, are enjoying a better quality of life than you? 

Well, there you go, "shoulding" on yourself again.

 So stop it. It isn't true.

 If you are working your program to the best of your ability you are right where you need to be.

Some of those around you are still "faking it till they make it," others - the smooth talkers - just have a more practiced gift of gab. 

I knew one man (one of the best friends I've ever had) who talked-the-talk of AA better than anyone I've ever heard. His glib tongue helped a lot of people get and stay sober in recovery. But he, even after years in the rooms, never managed to stay sober for a longer stretch than two years. 

It takes more than talking-the-talk.

 It takes doing-the-doing, every single day.

There are many in recovery who are truly enjoying their lives to the max - find them. Stick with the winners. They are the AA Adventurers, the ones willing to keep on growing no matter what. 

(Especially when they don't feel like it.

It's odd, but true, that once we come into recovery we can soon think we'll always feel wonderful, that we can wave our AA magic wand at any problem and watch it vanish. 

We expect to quickly be thin, fit, and physically healthy, have completely rational thinking in all situations, and to happily enjoy a pink-cloud-miracle-filled spiritual life, one where God rolls up his/her sleeves and does for us what we are too lazy to do for ourselves.

Um ... it actually doesn't work like that.

We can so easily forget we spent years abusing our bodies and minds and ignoring (hiding from?) our Higher Power. That kind of damage can't be quickly undone. We heal bit by bit. And it doesn't happen overnight. It happens over time. 

(SLOW-briety!)

But heal we will if we continue to share honestly with our sponsors, go to lots of meetings (daily works very well), help other suffering alcoholics, stay connected to our AA friends and to continually deepen the commitment to our own recovery.

We all have bad days. 

And, like everyone else, bad days still show up in my life every now and then. 

But that's OK ...I used to have bad years!

I try to think of my challenging days now as pop quizzes from my HP, to see how well I might handle those less-than-lovely situations these days.

 (Usually I find I could have done much better. Once in a blue moon I get to give myself a gold star.)

Recovery really is all about living one day at a time - and in finding the gift hidden for us in every single sober day. That's when a life of adventure can really take off. People I've known during my own recovery have achieved amazing things in their sober lives - 

like:

Got their licenses back - driving or career; got their kids back - either legally, emotionally (or both); have taken up skydiving; learned to fly airplanes; switched careers; gone to work at sea; built themselves a boat; built themselves a house; 

taken up gardening; painted pictures; did animal rescues; learned photography; tennis; yoga; hiking, roller skating, even mountain climbing; 

Joined in sea rescue efforts; went camping, became litter pickers;  raised money for charity; started their own charity; learned to dance; joined a choir; organized community events, got married; had children; learned to cook; became political activists. 

Many of these people did multiples of these adventures and even more! And with every adventure their lives expanded, their confidence grew, and their self-esteem blossomed.

 That's what quality recovery is all about!

AA truly does stand for more than the name of our program, because Adventurers Anonymous also fits us perfectly. 

Go find your own adventures  - starting today! 

 

 

Made A Decision

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                    Our Home Group 

Home - the very word can lift our spirits. 

And while not all of us have nice memories of our lives at home in childhood (and beyond), many of us do. 

Those who don't often adopt an idealized image of home from movies, old TV sitcoms, and even greeting card commercials, especially those aired during the winter holidays.

One way or another, our thoughts of home can become a mishmash of real or imagined memories evoking sunshine days, laughter, family and friends, home cooking, flowers from the garden, tea and conversation, and magical holiday moments. 

Our idealized home often becomes a safe location in our minds; a place filled with joy and peace.

The great news is that membership in an AA Home Group offers many of those same sterling home-made qualities, especially those of laughter, friendships, tea and coffee conversations, and many magical moments we will experience there that we will never forget. 

Our Home Group can become our safest place, a "home" filled with joy, peace, and - best of all - people who think and act like us. 

We will have found our herd - and it is there we will find some herd immunity from our deadly disease.

Alcoholics with good recovery go to a lot of different meetings. Zoom meetings, bless them,  have flung open the door to meetings 24/7 all over the world. Taking advantage of that opportunity is awesome! 

But after all our world traveling adventures, it's good to be home again. To walk in the door (even the Zoom door) and see those familiar faces, the people who know our whole story, our struggles, our triumphs, our faces and, as that old TV barroom song goes, "the place where everybody knows your name."

It's the people in our Home Group who will worry when we don't show up after a couple of meetings. They are the ones who will call or text us with those words we sometimes really, really need to hear:  "Are you OK?" 

Our Home Group members will celebrate our sober successes, be it getting that new job, graduating from college, getting a pulled license back, an engagement, a new baby, another AA chip or "birthday" - all the good stuff of life that can show up in the lives of recovering people!

And they are the same people who will be there when we're in the hospital, when a loved one dies, when we don't get that job we'd hoped for (or when we lose the one we had), when he/she leaves us for another, when we don't think we can make it through another day ...

Many of us with disinterested or judgmental family members form a "family" group within AA, where Home Group members become the "family" we've always needed. A "family" we can rely upon.

"My family doesn't understand my alcoholism, but you do. You get me," are statements often heard in AA.

Our Home Group offers us the chance to grow and change in a safe environment. Most of us will chair our first meeting there, make our first share there, and do our first AA service job(s) there. 

And it is inside our Home Group where we will learn how best to carry the message of recovery to other alcoholics.  

After all, every AA group has but one reason for being - to carry the message to the still-suffering alcoholic, inside and outside of AA." 

AA groups exist to help alcoholics achieve sobriety. Large or small, well-established or brand-new, the various groups use discussion, book studies or speaker meetings having that primary goal. 

 Groups exist so alcoholics like us can find a new way of life, a life rich in happiness, joy, and a daily freedom from our chronic, terminal, fatal, physical, mental and spiritual illness.

 Our Home Group does that force ten for most of us. It offers us powerful support from our own little band of recovering people. Together we share our ongoing experiences, our strength and our hopes on how we stay sober, one day at a time. 

"But wait" (as is said in so many TV commercials) - "there's more!" 

When we join a group we make a commitment to everyone there and to our own sobriety. It's an important and powerful decision that puts us right in the heart of everything AA has to offer. 

 We all need a home and there's a home in AA just for us. If you haven't done so already, find it. Then put down a taproot there, one that will hold you in place if, or when, future life storms arrive.

Find yourself that place where your own laughter blends in perfect harmony with those already there. They need you there, you know.

 And you need them.

 Made A Decision

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                                       AA Slogans

I took great exception to what I considered a "bumper sticker mentality" when I first got to AA and saw all those slogan signs around the meeting rooms.

One Day at a Time

Easy Does It.

Let Go and Let God.

Live and Let Live.

Fake It Till You Make It.

First things first.

Change or Die.

"Po-leeze," I thought. "How simplistic is this?"

So, as ever in my early days in recovery, I brought attitude and judgment to an AA tool that has, over time, brought me much solace. 

And had I been able to put any of them into constant practice over the years I'd be damned near perfect by now. (As it is, I remain merely OKay.)

Many more slogans have been added since those early ones. Some have been around now for quite a while and many more are being added all the time. Here are just a very few of them:

• Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. ...
  
• Progress Not Perfection ...
• This, too, shall pass.
• Time takes time.
  
• Principles before personalities.
  
• H.A.L.T. - don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
• Meeting Makers Make It.
• GOD - Good Orderly Direction.
• Keep the plug in the jug.
• Stay alert. The Devil misses his drinking buddy.

There are many, many others, but my personal favorites are:

"Up your Attitude with Gratitude,"

 and 

"Nobody Ever Found Recovery as a Result of an Intellectual Awakening."

One, more, or all of the slogans were on the walls of every meeting I went to in my early days in AA. One of them would often be selected as a topic for a meeting. Every single one of them is tailor made for the alcoholic mind.

Let's get back to the oldest standbys, the ones listed earlier. Despite their apparent simplicity none of them are easy. All require a lot of practice.

One Day At A Time - That's all we've got, folks. We can't undo one thought, word or deed from yesterday's personal history, and yet we've all met people who are still living in their yesterdays. They're not happy people, being stuck in their past, but they exist.

And we've all met people who are living for their tomorrows, for the day "when I get enough money/time/energy/love (pick one) I'm going to be able to  ...". 

In constantly dreaming about their tomorrows they miss opportunities today that would get them to their goal.

People who live in today, in the moment, benefit from yesterday's lessons while smoothing their path into tomorrow - One Day at a Time. 

Easy Does It - My idea of a morning meditation when I first got sober was reading the 24-hour a day book while combing my hair and putting on makeup - all while driving 70 mph to work.

 

Many alcoholics live that same way - at full throttle. The path to becoming a human being, not merely a human doing, takes a lot of practice.

Using "Easy Does It" like a mantra helped me slow down. It has done the same for millions of others wired like me. It can work for you, too.

(Easy Does It - but do it! This is a newer twist on the original, but one of great help to another alcoholic type, those who procrastinate rather than act.) 

Let Go and Let God - Got a problem?

 (Who doesn't?) 

This slogan doesn't mean ignore the problem and expect God to fix it for you. It means do what you can to correct the worrisome situation and then stop thinking about it. Think about God instead.

 As in: God is good; God cares about me; my Higher Power has my back; God loves me, and so on. Then let go of the problem and let God handle it.

Live and Let Live. 

We must learn to live our own life and stop worrying about what others think, do or say. 

We can only control our own behavior and that's a good thing, because (certainly in my case) it truly is a full time job.

When we focus on learning how to live a full and sober life we won't have time to obsess about how others are living theirs.

Fake It Till You Make It - Here's some science for you: 

(1) It is impossible for our brains to hold onto a positive thought and a negative thought at the same time. Making a gratitude list therefore can - and will - make us feel better.

(2) Putting on a happy face when we aren't happy lifts our spirits.

(3) Standing up straight is a physical tool that builds our confidence. 

       And here's a spiritual law for you:

Being grateful for what we have, instead of complaining about what we don't have, brings more of what we do want into our life.

We don't always "feel" like we're "getting" the program. We don't "feel" like we are actually in contact with a Higher Power. We don't "feel" joyous, happy or free every day. 

Of course we don't. We live on Planet Earth, not in La-La Land.

But we can trust those who got to AA before us when they tell us we are "getting the program" when we are staying sober; 

and that just like in any relationship, it takes time to get to know our Higher Power and to feel that presence active in our lives; 

and that if we keep on doing-the-doing we will eventually have a life that's joyous, happy and free most of the time.

As I once heard in a meeting, "I still have bad days, but that's OK. I used to have bad years."

First Things First - This one is about our priorities. You can easily remember them by just looking at your hard. Hold it up now and number your digits, with the thumb being #1 and your pinkie #5.

 

#1 - Do your spiritual homework daily. Getting to know your Higher Power (and if your AA group is your Higher Power at the moment, that's fine) is the first of the first things. 

#2 - Maintain sobriety by using all the tools in the AA toolbox - get a sponsor, work the steps, sponsor others, share at meetings, do service work, etc. 

#3 - Meeting makers make it. Have a home group. Be there when it meets. Go to other meetings. Meetings are our medicine. We need them, especially when we don't want to go.  

#4 - Family and friends. Practice being as nice to family members as you are to the people around you in a meeting. Enjoy your kids and grandkids, nieces and nephews. Make time for them. Make time for your friends. 

#5 - Work ... your career, your job, your way to earn your living. Too many of us swap out one of the earlier numbers for #1. If we love our job, that's great, but at the end of the day our work just pays for us to have a life we can enjoy. Enjoy your life.

Keep your priorities in the order given and your recovery will stay intact and grow stronger. Switch them around and the ground can get very slippery. Without number one, two and three firmly in place, numbers four and five won't matter. They'll be gone.

Change or Die - It doesn't get more basic or real than this slogan. 

Most of us want to do the bare minimum to stay sober in early recovery, because change is hard.

But we are dealing with a terminal, fatal, physical, mental and spiritual illness. It won't go away without us making the necessary changes in all those areas. Step by step, AA teaches us how to do that.

                    

                                    Here's the best news: 

                     "Change is the invitation to a richer life."