OKaysez

 

I am currently reposting all 100 previously posted blogs that contain what I've learned about staying sober. Because AA has continued to work for a drunk like me since 1981, I know it can work for you. And I can promise you'll have some real adventures along the way!

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If you wish to contact me personally with your comments, my email is: o.kay.dockside@gmail.com

Made a Decision

(6)

Letter to a Sponsee who wandered off into the internet

 

Was sorry to not see you in our meetings last night. The first meeting was all about relapse (two of our members did recently) and it was very powerful. Much to think about and to learn from. We are never free of our disease, you know. It can rear its ugly dangerous head at any time. Vigilance - one day at a time - is our protection. 

 

I suspect you are angry with me for my comments yesterday and that's fine.  I genuinely don't care if we agree about the basics of life ... I say poh-tay-to, you say po-taaa-toe ... you like orange, I like red ... you like the Noon meetings, I prefer evening meetings ... big deal. Our differences are what make people endlessly interesting.

But I will always challenge you - or anyone - when I see lies being perpetuated. 

 

My concern here is about your spreading information about your recent interest in many online conspiracy theories and new drugs being used to combat alcoholism. Such theories can be more interesting and exciting than reality, but anything based on distortion of reality is dangerous. And this is especially so for anyone trying to live by spiritual principles as we do in AA. 

      

Alcoholics Anonymous is all about the truth - that's what the steps are all about. We recognize and acknowledge the truth in Step One, that we are powerless over alcohol; we learn about our own character problems in our 4th and 5th steps; we ask our Higher Power in Steps Six and Seven to remove those defects and allow us to see ourselves and others more clearly; we share the truth about recovery in our 9th and 12th step work - and so on. 

I completely agree with you for the need on more education about alcoholism, especially with younger people. 

I do not agree with you representing AA while handing out pills, or kava jungle juice, or whatever else you might come up with to someone struggling to get sober. That is absolutely not in accordance with AA Traditions. You might as well tell them it's OK to smoke a little crack to help them relax until they find God. 

 Is AA no longer interesting or a priority in your life? If so, you have reached a very dangerous place in your recovery. With zoom meetings we have the opportunity to go to meetings all over the world. I hope you will take full advantage of that. 

 

I am not here to lecture you. I am here as your sponsor, committed to telling you the truth about recovery. And the truth is you are putting other things ahead of sobriety when you don't get to your home group for two weeks. 

 

If you think another AA member would serve you better now in sponsorship, that's fine. I have no ego invested in your recovery. I just want you to stay sober and live to enjoy one positive experience after another in the years ahead. If a different sponsor can help you achieve that, go for it! Take care of yourself and your sobriety. It's the most valuable thing you have.

 

You can be assured I will always challenge you on issues of truth. Lies - even little white ones - are dangerous for anyone, but they can be lethal for an alcoholic. And the most dangerous lies of all are the ones we tell ourselves.

 

All our answers for life as recovering people are based on the honesty found in the steps - learning them and living them on a daily basis is a sure path to better living. That's the one thing I absolutely know for sure.

 

Here's something else I know for sure - You are smart, witty, interesting and just plain lovely. You are a joy to know. But never forget that you need AA  - and that AA needs you!

 

And that’s the truth!