OKaysez

 

Made a Decision

Trudging the Trudge

At the end of the last chapter in our Big Book, "A Vision for You," it says: 

"... and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."

Notice the author didn't say: "... as you skip along the Road of Happy Destiny." 

The word used was "Trudge." 

It's a valuable and interesting word choice.

Our dictionary tells us that trudge means - "to walk or march steadily and usually laboriously." 

We don't initially see our recovery as a trudge. After all, it's such a relief to be set free from addiction, to have a fellowship of support around us, to bask in each new day of sobriety. 

We will enjoy our pink cloud ride until (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly) something happens in our life to shake us loose and - depending on the severity of the cause - either drop us down a notch or straight into a chasm of despair. 

(Or as my brother often says, "We ride the pink cloud until we fall off and hit the pink concrete.")

But, just like when we fall off that proverbial horse, the best thing we can do is to climb right back up onto that pink cloud for another and even longer ride. 

The trick, of course, is in learning how to do that.

Tip - it takes putting into practice more of everything we've learned in recovery so far.

(Prayer helps, too.) 

The school of life, like most schools (including the one called Alcoholics Anonymous), gives us a series of lessons and then we're handed a pop quiz - or - sometimes an even more significant test. 

Afterwards we get to grade ourselves on how well we've done. 

And even if we feel we've let ourselves down a bit, we can look at where we lost the plot and then promise ourselves to do better next time. 

 

That's how we grow and change for the better.

Life Happens. Sometimes it's as yummy as a piece of home-baked cake and we happily stroll along enjoying every bite. 

Sometimes life sucker-punches us in a way we absolutely didn't see coming and knocks us to our knees. 

                                                  Here's the good news: 

   The view from our knees usually offers us a higher view. It is here that we learn we can handle all of life's events in the very same way - with gratitude.

When the going is good we can develop our sense of gratitude by appreciating every good sober day. Living with "no itches to scratch in this moment" is the very definition of that. 

Stay grateful!

When the going is shit, we can practice having gratitude for our sobriety, for having the AA tool kit offering us ways to handle our pain, and for our AA friends who rally around to keep us from plummeting further into depression.

Chopping the bad times into manageable day-at-a-time chunks, while reaching out to our Higher Power for help and guidance, will get us through any and ALL situations that used to send us to the bottle. 

Sometimes we must confront our need for help by admitting to ourselves and to others that we need it. It’s not easy to share the intimate details of our lives, but it is the key to escape from our pain.  

An old saying sums it up: "A trouble shared is a trouble halved," 

The magic in sharing ourselves with others is hard to define, but the healing for everyone involved always follows. 

Every single day someone's recovery begins when one alcoholic shares his or her experience, strength and hope with another. That's the heart and soul of AA at work. 

The same kind of healing continues throughout our "trudge" whenever we share our pain and thereby open ourselves to healing. Love from others will get us through.

Spiritual awakenings come in all shapes and sizes. For some the earth moves right away and for others it can be a long old slog ... but if we stay sober, continue to do-the-doing of recovery to the best of our ability, live to the best of our capability each day  - and stay grateful - we'll get there. 

Our need is God's opportunity. The spiritual path is the best adventure we can ever undertake. Yes, there's some trudging to be done, but it is also filled with discoveries, laughter, amazing revelations, surprises of the best kind, terrific friendships, delightful books, breathtaking moments ... it's the best and highest "high" there is. 

I wish I had realized all of this a lot sooner, but it's here for any of us when we do those first three steps every morning (with heavy emphasis on Step Three), and then get out of our own way. 

                                   Does our trudge on earth ever end? 

                                                 Sure. When we die. 

Until then we will continue to have our valuable and needed "lessons" all throughout our spiritual adventure of recovery. 

And we will always need shared experience, strength, and hope from others who skip and/or trudge along with us on our spiritual path. 

And this remains true regardless of our age or how long we've been sober.