Saturday, March 1, 2025

 



Made A Decision


                   Here's a Question for You ...


      What have you done for AA -

or for a still suffering alcoholic -

today?


Have you had a thought today about others still out there caught in the hell of

our disease? 


I try to, but it's only because it was once sharply brought to my attention. 


It happened in the building I was living in.


My apartment back then, when I was much younger, was a busy place. People

in recovery dropped by regularly for coffee and A.A chats. I had sponsees there

doing step work. I held weekly studies on books that had helped me in my

own recovery. 


But one day an ambulance arrived out front. 


The paramedics were searching for a man who lived in my building, but I didn't

know him. His apartment number, however, was from "around back," so I

directed them there.


In due course the paramedics wheeled a stretcher from the back apartment to

their ambulance out front. 


On the stretcher was a living skeleton, a rack of bones covered with tight yellow

skin, topped by an enormously swollen belly. 


My neighbor. 


Dying of alcoholism.


So there I was, Little Miss A.A., living The Promises while my neighbor was

quietly drinking himself to death just a few doors away.


How about your neighbor? 


Is he or she dying of alcoholism? 


Do you know?

 

More importantly, do you care?


Because of my own apartment experience I learned to pay closer attention to the

people living near me. And I let people know I'm in recovery from our chronic

terminal illness whenever I think that information might be helpful. 


As it says in our Big Book: 


Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people on a sinking ship. If you live

in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are

future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new

and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will

commence shoulder to shoulder your common journeyThen you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive

and rediscover life.

You will learn the full meaning of 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' 


That's as true - maybe even more so - than when our Big Book was written.


So what can we do?


 We can invite doctors, nurses, police officers, social workers, and others to our

open meetings. We can provide those same people with A.A. brochures.

We can answer their questions. 


Our groups can hold Fourth Step workshops. 


We can also host other kinds of workshops offering information about A.A.,

where speakers share about service, our steps, our traditions, The Importance

of Meetings, A.A. literature, and so much more.


Our groups can also offer public workshops where non-alcoholics can attend

and hear a couple of A.A. speakers, an Al-Anon speaker, and then to have

a question and answer session for those in attendance.


And we, as individuals, can carry the message to that person in tonight's

news - the one now headed to jail after causing a fatal accident while drunk.  


My home group had business cards printed to hand out or leave where they

might do some good. They read: 

"If you want to drink, that's your business. If you want to quit, that's ours ...

A.A, has been helping people stay sober for nearly 100 years."

 (And then it gave contact information). 


I recently heard about people in A.A. who were repelled and repulsed by a wet

drunk who showed up at their meeting. Can you even imagine that?

That drunk was there to show everyone what we were like - so that those there

could help him become the sober person he was meant to be. 


That's Our Job!!!


My sobriety - and yours - is given us just for today and is "contingent on the

maintenance of our spiritual condition."


 That means prayer, meditation, step work, book studies, meetings and giving

our sobriety away to someone who needs it. That's how we get to keep it, people.


The seats in A.A. are never empty. Lost members are soon replaced when

God points another newcomer in our direction, a person perhaps more

willing in sobriety to do the job we've been given to do.


I was fortunate in early recovery to be taken on a lot of 12-step calls where I

often got to see late-stage alcoholism up close and personal.

I hated those calls at the time, but I'm very grateful for them now. 

It was there I learned those of us who have escaped drinking - just for today -

are uniquely qualified to pull others out of the jaws of our ugly disease.


But all of us can, and often do, coast along on our own sobriety, skipping

meetings, not calling our sponsor, not being willing to do service in our

group ... truly skating along on thin ice. 


We are not ever cured of our cunning, baffling and powerful disease.

Not paying attention to the basics of our recovery every single day is truly playing with fire.


Our lives before A.A. weren't pretty. Lives of baffled defeat never are.

Those of us given a second chance at life in A.A. are the lucky ones.

Most drunks never even get inside the door for their first meeting. 


But coasting in our recovery for too long leads many of us back to drinking.

That wake-up call sometimes does the trick and we, with new understanding,

return to fully embrace our miraculous program. 


But some of us don't make it back, because for us to drink is to die.


So every recovering addict is a miracle. Many of us should have been

dead long ago. We have been given a second chance at life and the

promises of A.A. guarantee us a good one -

as long as we continue to give our sobriety away to others.


Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.

A kindly act once in a while isn't enough.

You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be.

Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Edition


One of my good A.A. friends, a man with 30-plus years recovery, says he

gets choked up with emotion every time he hears the "Responsibility Pledge"

read in a meeting. 


Here it is:


"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,

I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.

And for that: I am responsible."



My friend takes that pledge seriously. 


I do, too. 


Every single sober one of us owes a debt of gratitude to A.A. that we can

never repay no matter how long we live. 


So my question remains: 


What have YOU done for A.A. - or for a still suffering alcoholic - today? 




Saturday, February 22, 2025

 



   

 Made A Decision


One Day at a Time is all About Acceptance 

        (And acceptance is the answer to all our problems.)

            

         An expectation is a resentment under construction - Lloyd E.


Alcoholics in recovery seem to mainly come in two flavors - hard-charges and foot-draggers.

Hard chargers lives are lived anywhere from months to years ahead down the road. 


Foot-draggers can't see the future through the mists of the past. 


Hard charges launch huge projects. Foot draggers forever procrastinate. 


So it's no wonder our lovely little AA motto, right over there on the clubhouse wall, that one that reads: "One Day at a Time," remains unseen, and certainly not understood by so many, for a very, very long time in recovery. 


But all of us quickly grasp the concept of "Anyone can go 24 hours without a drink," especially - as my sponsee Sam S. says -"when we're sleeping for eight of those hours." 


Learning to live one day at a time however - ah - there's the challenge that takes us awhile.


Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. 


It says that above in our Big Book, that same book that exhorts us to live one day at a time and to stay sober by seeking the direction and protection of our Higher Power.


I'm a very slow learner, so learning to slow down and stay in the day I'm in right now took a lot of reminders and a lot of practice. When I got sober my concept of a morning meditation was reading the 24-hour-a-day book while driving 70 mph on my way to work, while applying makeup and doing my hair at the same time. 


Learning to slow down and actually think about spiritual matters took time. So did coming to understand - and believe - the fatal nature of our disease and our daily need to do what's necessary to keep it in remission. 


Developing our spiritual natures is the single most important part of that. If you doubt that, read your Big Book again. It's right there in black and white, written over and over again.


 I was also clueless about how I could make plans for the future while staying stuck in today and only today.


So it took time there, too, before I understood we certainly must make plans for our future, but also to trust that our Higher Power has a better plan for us if our best laid plans fall through. 


We have to learn, without free-falling into victim mode, that while our Higher Power answers our every prayer, sometimes the answer is "No." And it takes practice for us to not stamp out little feet when “No” is the answer.


I can accept that "No" today, and I wish I could tell you my acceptance is always immediate, but I'd be lying. Acceptance comes faster when I'm handed a disappointment now than it once did, but when it's a big disappointment it still takes time to process. 


We are not saints …


Living in today means dealing with the events and emotions in that day and not bringing forward petty annoyances from yesterday or building resentments for the future. 


The Big Big Book (as some call the Holy Bible) says. "Sufficient unto the day are the evils therin." I interpret that to mean we've got all we can handle today, only today. And we learn in our program our tomorrow will be even better when based on a life lived well today. 


Bill W. and Dr. Bob, living one sober day at a time and teaching others how to do the same for the days, weeks, months, years and decades it took for their knowledge to reach me, is a concept that heartens me. 

So does reading about the trials and tribulations and annoyances that bothered them enough to teach them acceptance. 



It heartens me because both men shared one of my own pet peeves - about our maintaining anonymity at the level of our meetings. When we first arrive it's understandable, but to continue doing it seems as counterproductive to me as it did to them. 


They knew alcoholics, grandiose creatures that we want to be, needed to stay anonymous "at the level of press, radio and films," but were baffled how that had become anonymity at group level where five members named  "Mike" could come to be known as "Newspaper Mike," "Handsome Mike." "Fireman Mike," "Tall Mike" and "Dancing Mike," instead of (the following are example names only) Mike Smith, Mike Jones, Mike Brown, Mike Miller and Mike Jackson, their actual names.


Our founders aired that grievance over that issue in letters exchanged between them, but finally came to accept their opinion wasn't going to change what had already become an accepted AA  practice. 


Each day offers us a choice in how to view the events of that one day: the good things, the happy events, the sad moments, the tragedies, the lottery win, the new car, the job opportunity, or just a day to relax, enjoy and take time to smell those roses. 


If we’re having a rough patch in our lives at the moment know that one day the understanding of the reason for it will arrive. Chances are you’ll learn it’s not only a testing time, but is also a preparation for work you’ll be called to do up ahead. 


Our prayers do get answered, sometimes in ways that seem painful at the time, but hindsight being 20/20 we are usually given understanding of our difficult life events when they are a long way behind us. 


We are called to learn how to live one day at a time and to accept whatever that day brings for us to learn from. 


Sounds easy, doesn't it? 


It isn't. 

  But it IS worth it!