OKaysez

 Made A Decision

(5)

A letter follows that was written to an AA friend who had relapsed, but had recently returned to AA.

Dear __________:

 

You have asked for my thoughts about how you might stay sober this time. Simply put, “It works when we work it.”

 

Recovery is NOT easy. Recovery takes work. But it's good work.

By doing the work we discover how unique and wonderful and perfect we truly are. 

 

Don't believe it? 

 

Why not? 

 

What in you, besides a distorted ego, says you're not worth knowing and accepts that as the truth? That's the one big question for each of us. Doing the work of recovery gives us the answer. 

 

You wrote that you have the book "Believing in Myself" and that you "read it most days." 

Why on earth would you not read it (or another daily spiritual reading) every single day, and think about what you have read, and answer any questions it brings up in your head? 

Today's reading is excellent, addressing self-love - self-love means self-care - and self-care means doing what we need to do to get and stay healthy. 

 

We can't jump a chasm in two jumps, Medear. We're either IN recovery or we're not. We're either applying the steps of recovery in our lives or we're not. I suggest you make that "decision" we hear about at the start of every meeting, and stay IN recovery. It can't be any worse than what you are experiencing now by often teetering on the edge. 

 

You’ve said you have no faith there is a God. I had no faith in any kind of God when I got to recovery, either. But one sober day at a time I have found a God that cares for me in my life. 

 

Some people in recovery find their god in an instant. It didn't happen that way for me. It didn't happen overnight. Recovery isn’t all about instant gratification. It is time - sober time - that brings the deeper healing. 

 

My journey to faith was a long hard slog. It took my wanting to experience what many in the rooms clearly had! Their laughter and joy were like spurs to me, sending me onward. But I am in no way unique. It’s there for you, too! 

 

I start every single morning today by taking the first three steps, saying aloud  -- "God, I know that I am powerless and I know that YOU have ALL power. I gratefully, and willingly, turn my will and my life over to your care and keeping, praying only for knowledge of your will for me, and for the power, energy, courage and desire to carry that out today. Please let me serve you today."  

 

It works when we work it.

 

For the record, I prefer our regular meetings, too. But I doubt I'll ever be able to go to one again. I think Covid 19 is going to be with us for a long long time. I'm very grateful, tho, that it didn't arrive in the 1990s, or even the first part of this century, when zoom wouldn't have been an option! 

 

At least we have zoom meetings we can go to, see our AA friends there, and - here's the bonus - make new AA friends from all around the world! I've always found that hearing "the same old same old" in a different accent - or viewpoint - brings a freshness to my own program of recovery. 

 

Big Book thumper that I am, I urge you to get to as many online meetings as you can, and zoom offers us our regular meetings and meetings around the world any time of our day or night.

 

 I know I'm too young in my own recovery to miss many meetings ...   so I know for sure that you are.

 

I don't know if any of these hard truths will help you or not, Medear. But I hope there is something in the above that will light the fire for recovery in you that will let you become passionate about yourself and your life.

 

 God doesn't make junk - but we can lose our way in life and not know how perfect we all are. Recovery is the way back to knowing that truth. 

 

And the truth sets us free!