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                               Prayers and Some A.A. History

You wouldn't think A.A. members would fight about prayers, but they have - and they do - and they will  - because we're nothing if not a contentious bunch.

At almost every meeting we hear that we are to pray "only for the knowledge of His will for us, and the power to carry that out!" So confusion about prayer shouldn't be an issue, but we often make it so because - in addition to being contentious - we alcoholics are also able to complicate the inner workings of an anvil.

Both Bill W. and Dr. Bob believed God had saved them from the hell of alcoholic drinking. Our founders were Christians (although to their great credit they never tried to shove that down our throats), so they quite naturally plugged various prayers into the A.A. program where they felt prayers were needed. 

 Thus we find the Third Step prayer:

  "God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life."

And the Seventh Step prayer: 

 “My creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding.”

(I just learned my computer doesn't know its scripture. It keeps trying to change all thy-s, thou-s and thee-s into thighs, thousands and trees. Bloody heathen).

You'll find many Christian-like prayers throughout A.A.'s literature, always with that qualifier that we're praying to "God as we understand Him." 

(BTW - "Her" works in that last sentence instead of "Him," too. Many women in recovery use it). 

In early recovery I was no big fan of the often then-quoted Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi ("Lord make me a channel of thy peace, that where there is hatred, I may bring love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness; that where there is discord, I may bring ... etc. etc."). I called it the co-dependent prayer, along with a number of other disrespectful things. 

I also took exception to that prayer because to me it was so obviously a Christian prayer, although no one else seemed to mind. So I was especially annoyed when they eventually took The Lord's Prayer out of meetings because, "they" said, it was "a Christian Prayer."

"Seemingly it's possible to have it both ways in A.A.," I said, scathingly. 

I did scathingly well in my early recovery when I was always willing to give you a "piece" of my mind with no "peace" behind it. (Good news: I hardly ever "scather" anymore.)

For a long time into my early recovery meetings began with the preamble, then the Serenity Prayer and then ended with The Lord's Prayer:

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
The power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.

Then a few groups started ending their meetings by using the Serenity Prayer. As more and more meetings began doing it, I started questioning the reasoning behind it and was told by others (scathingly) that The Lord's Prayer was "too Christian" and the Serenity Prayer was not. 

It's true when people asked Jesus how they should pray he offered them The Lord's Prayer as a template, but nowhere in the prayer itself does it mention Jesus. I had never even considered it a Christian prayer, but others certainly did.  Apparently members have been fighting about its use almost since the beginning of A.A. 

Here's what Bill Wilson himself had to say about its use in a letter written in 1955: 

“Of course there are always those who seem to be offended by the introduction of any prayer whatever into an ordinary A.A. gathering. Also it is sometimes complained that the Lord’s Prayer is a Christian document. Nevertheless, this Prayer is of such widespread use and recognition that the argument of its Christian origin seems to be a little far-fetched.

"It is also true that most AA’s believe in some kind of god and that communication and strength is obtainable through his grace," Bill continued. "Since this is the general consensus, it seems only right that at least the Serenity Prayer and the Lord’s Prayer be used in connection with our meetings. It does not seem necessary to defer to the feelings of our agnostic and atheist newcomers to the extent of completely hiding ‘our light under a bushel.’ 

"However, around here, the leader of the meeting usually asks those to join him in the Lord’s Prayer who feel that they would care to do so. The worst that happens to the objectors is that they have to listen to it. This is doubtless a salutary exercise in tolerance at their stage of progress.” 

Commenting about Bill's letter after they started getting questions about how to handle members who refused to stand during recitation of the Lord's Prayer, the A.A.'s General Service Office noted the issue had been controversial in some circles since the 1940s. Their solution was: "Participation–or non-participation-in recitals of the Lord’s Prayer should be considered a matter of personal conscience and decision.” 

(I remind you that we alcoholics are a contentious bunch, but while we "are not saints," the General Service Office folks generally are.)

 My brother (sobriety date April 3, 1981) and I recently got into a discussion about the prayers used in A.A. Since we've both read a lot about the early history of Alcoholics Anonymous, it became quite a lively discussion. Here's a bit of history for you on The Serenity Prayer that he sent me afterward:

"The Serenity Prayer as said in meetings - 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference' - is just the first verse of the prayer known as the Serenity Prayer. 

 The rest of the prayer reads as follows:

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardship as the

Pathway to peace.

 Taking, as He did, this

Sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make

All things right if I

Surrender to His Will;

 That I may be reasonably happy

In this life, and supremely

Happy with Him forever in

The next.  

"The Serenity Prayer was written in 1929 by Karl Reinhold Niebuhr, a Lutheran pastor and theologian, who lived between (1892-1971). The prayer became more widely known in 1941 after it was brought to the attention of A.A. by an early member who came upon it in an obituary. Bill Wilson and his staff liked the prayer and had it printed in modified form. It has been part of Alcoholics Anonymous ever since. 

Before it was modified, the original text for that first verse read:   "Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other."

And while the "we" version of the Serenity Prayer still confuses me when it's used (my friend Lisa will vouch for this), I quite like this next version and often use it at the personal level: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one that I can, and the wisdom to know that person is me."

There's a non-Christian poem/prayer occasionally heard in meetings that was written by KĀLIDĀSA, a fifth-century Indian dramatist and poet (literary figure of the Sanskrit tradition who set the standard for classical Indian poetry and drama). His poem entitled Look to this Day is every bit as valid now about living one day at a time as when it was written:

Look to this day.

For it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence.

The bliss of growth, The glory of action, The splendor of achievement

Are but experiences of time.

For yesterday is but a dream.  And tomorrow is only a vision;

And today well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day.

            I no longer think it matters in what religious tradition a prayer originated. What matters is using the prayers that most resonate with us in our daily lives. Perhaps the most important prayers are the ones we will actually do.

My friend, Butch W. (deceased), once told me, "More things are wrought by prayer than we would ever believe possible." I think he was spot on. As the Big Book itself tells us: "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

In 1990, A.A.'s World Services embellished that statement by adding we have much to gain in keeping an open mind along our spiritual journey. Our sobriety is enriched and our practice of the Eleventh Step is made more fruitful when we use both the literature and practices of the Judeo-Christian tradition, along with the resources of other religions. 

My brother told me poetry and prayers have been "my two guiding lights for coping with the uncertainties of life. Both give direction for daily living life on life’s terms, turning the good, bad or ugly into learning opportunities for spiritual growth. Both have given me much stability and peace of mind on my journey."

 To which I can only add - Amen!