OKaysez

 

Online Step Four workshop this week - March 12 - Starts Noon UK time (seven a.m. eastern USA, four a.m. western USA),

Zoom in on ID - 902 520 680, password 255212.

Contact me at o.kay.dockside@gmail.com beforehand and I'll forward the paperwork to print out for use in the workshop.

Made a Decision

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The Fourth Step:

Made a searching and thorough inventory of ourselves.

There is no harm for us in any of the steps. They are all designed to improve and enhance our lives, to get us - and keep us - sober. Doing them is basic to what's meant when we hear in meetings: "It works when we work it."

Step Four is designed to introduce us to the truth about ourselves - and it's always truth that sets us free!

Step Four is where the "take action" steps begin. When we pick up our pen we will have actually begun to “work the steps.” Arriving at Step Four is also where some major panic can set in, because at first glance Step Four looks like very scary territory.

Please don't feel badly if your initial reaction to doing the step is one of terror. It's perfectly natural to have the jitters when faced with some serious self-examination for the first time. Rest assured, once a thorough Step Four is behind you, the fear of it will be behind you, too, never to return.

My home group - the Living on God's Terms (LGT) Group - started hosting Step Four Workshops after it became clear few of our group's newcomers had yet taken the Step Four plunge. One of them had even wished out loud they could all do it together.

Knowing Fourth Step workshops were not uncommon in the states, we held a group conscience meeting where the members decided to host one. We then requested workshop material from overseas. The LGT Group has been doing a couple of Fourth Step workshops each year ever since. They have been life-changing for many.

AA members overall hold different views of the Fourth Step (and pretty much everything else), but no one is wrong.

There is no wrong way to do a fourth step other than to not do one!

Some members write one thorough Fourth Step and never feel the need to do another one. Others do one every year or whenever they feel the need.

I did the most thorough Fourth Step I was capable of in my first year of recovery. More issues were later revealed, so I've since done a couple more complete Fourth Steps, plus two one-issue Fourth Steps that turned out to be of huge importance to my recovery.

My first Fourth Step was done as directed in our Big Book and that's also the format we use for our workshop. There was a fad for a while for writing a biographical Fourth Step, but that seems to have faded away a bit now.

Some members still, however, swear by them. (I did one myself when they were trendy, but haven't felt the need to do another one.)

There are no hard and fast rules on any of this. The important thing is to get our "stuff" down on paper so we can take stock of who we were, are, and where we want to go in our sober future.

In our workshop the presenter will outline our system, set times for each topic, and stand by to answer any questions that may come up during the writing.

If you are doing a Fourth Step on your own, it's best to begin by reading about the Fourth Step in both our Big Book and the 12&12, and then take up any remaining questions with your sponsor before starting on the writing.

(It won't hurt workshop participants to review these two books for Fourth Step guidance beforehand, either).

To do the work on our own we'll need to set aside a morning or afternoon where we won't be disturbed. (That means phones and laptops off and out of sight, along with a "do not disturb" sign on the door, if necessary.)

Using the outline in the Big Book as your guide, sit down with a pen and plenty of paper and go at it. We're literally taking an inventory here and our goal is to get as much as we can about ourselves down on paper. That includes a nod to our good qualities, too.

We may indeed be short-tempered, selfish, or prone to telling lies - but we may also be loyal friends, hard workers and reliable pet owners. We need to at least acknowledge some of the good stuff, too.

Our Workshop allows participants to complete a very thorough Fourth Step where we will get our most important issues down on paper in under four hours. More issues may be revealed at a later date (when we're perhaps better able to deal with them), but we'll get to the all-important basics on the day.

HP only gives us what we are able to handle at any given time.

(Although I've often felt HP was a bit more confident in my being able to handle something than I was at the time.)

Chapter Six in the Big Book is called "Into Action," not "Into thinking." Stop thinking and worrying about doing your Fourth Step and get on with it!"

 Once these two crucial steps - Four and Five - have been completed you'll feel (and be) reborn!

No worries! You've already faced your biggest fear when you decided to attend your first AA meeting. A Fourth Step is a mere paper tiger in comparison.

Here are some Bullet Points for Step Four:

1. The Big Book of AA outlines how to do Step Four. Read it and think about it.

2. Take up any questions you may still have with your sponsor.

3. Set aside a morning or afternoon when you won’t be disturbed. Sit down with pen and paper or a notebook and go to it. Use the Big Book outline as your guide. Take prayer breaks if needed.

4. Some people prefer to just write their Fourth Step autobiographically and that can work, too. The goal here is not perfection. The goal is to get words down on paper.

5. Remember to add the positive things about yourself to your inventory. No one is all bad - not even terminally-unique you.

6. You should be able to complete a first Fourth Step in from two to four hours. You'll then have on paper the immediate things for working on with your sponsor.

7. Your written Fourth Step will give you everything you need to do an immediate Fifth Step.

8. If a Fourth Step Workshop is available to you, sign up for it - and then show up and take part.