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Made a Decision

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Life Lessons Are Never Easy

I'm in the middle of a life "lesson" at the moment and I'm feeling like I'm not doing all that great with parts of it. 

Life lessons are never easy for us alcoholics at any time in recovery. Sometimes old character defects we thought we’d surrendered long ago come back in a new and different guise to let us know we still have more work to do in that area.

My lesson involves difficult neighbors. 

I'm praying for them, doing my best to always be civil with them, not retaliating (much) over their attempts to control my behavior, and surrendering them daily to my Higher Power.

So far I have not smacked anyone upside the head, but the desire has been there a time or two. I've had to keep praying it away.

In our Big Book it says:  "... A.A. is a synthesis of all the philosophy I've ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one's own growth."

I believe every word of that quote. I know my neighbors are operating from pure motives in wanting to protect me from myself. They don't believe in vaccinations or mask wearing and they flood me with "information" about the dangers of same. 

 Earlier this week I politely (and without even a hint of sarcasm - gold star me) offered them some alternative websites to look at for information and said I respect their right to their opinions and only ask that they show me the same respect.

 I felt pretty good about that. 

So the following day they left me a pissy note saying I shouldn't continue to feed the neighborhood feral cats, because the food attracts rats and other vermin. I have managed to resist telling them cats kill vermin, because that will only escalate the problem. That's how wars get started - and continue.

There was a time I could have drunk over an irritating little problem like this one, or do something mean to harm them in some way, or sulked, hid, not talked to them or - worse - talked to them quite loudly and viciously. 

But in AA I have learned to believe in the power of love by having seen it in action. I've seen how it can - and does - change people for the better. It works, when we work it.

                                     I don’t want to be at war with my neighbors. 

So I'm not going to react to my current "lesson" with old behavior.

 I already know how to annihilate people. I still don't always know how to love them, though, but I'm working on it.

And it’s not just one character defect poking me with a stick right now, either. I also know how to manipulate people, having at one time been quite good at it.

I’ve done a negative bit of that this week, too. 

Acceptance, of course, is the key to getting through this lesson with a minimum of harm being done to others or to myself. So is striving for patience, tolerance, kindness and a lot less self-centeredness. 

Thank God I have the AA tool kit to work with right now. But even with it wide open in front of me, I still have moments of wanting to hammer the problem into a shape I like, rather than reaching for a tool I find more difficult to use.  

The lesson I’m here to learn from today appears to be mostly the application of "The Golden Rule" …  to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.

I’ll be a better person if I can manage to learn what my annoying neighbors are here to teach me about me, and to work on it - and to continue working - no matter how they respond.

We all have lessons our Higher Power sends to teach us. 

What's yours today?