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                               Merry Meet(ings) and Season Sober

Some are already tired of the current topic de jour being "How to stay sober through the holidays," but listen up anyway. All these same-topic meetings are being held for a 

reason. It's more the ice in the glass and not on the pavement that causes "slips" this 

time of year.

Holiday parties and family gatherings plus seasonal stress loom like minefields for a 

sober alcoholic - especially for those in recovery facing their first sober holiday season.

 It can feel pretty overwhelming when every other ad on TV seems filled with people hoisting glasses of "cheer" in their perfect homes with their perfect families and lovely friends all happily toasting the season.

Spoiler alert: There are NO families like that. 

Nor is the alcoholic world celebrated in those ads. None show the family drunk knocking

 over the Christmas tree, spilling the Hanukkah wine all over the spotless white tablecloth, telling inappropriate stories, snogging in a closet with another drunken guest, puking 

beside the toilet, or burning the Christmas dinner to a crisp.

Those of us who have done those things - and worse - rightfully fear doing them again. 

That's when we need to haul ass to our safe place, our meetings. They become our refuge -

 and sometimes even hiding place - until all the seasonal madness is over.

I should note there are also a small number of A.A. members who will go into the holiday season with perhaps a bit more confidence than is warranted. Confidence is a good thing, 

but it's always a good idea to be on guard against the cunning, baffling and powerful nature

 of our disease.

As it points out in the book, Living Sober, regarding the biochemical, unchangeable nature

 of our ailment:

"Alcoholism respects no ifs. It does not go away, not for a week, for a day, or even for an

 hour, leaving us nonalcoholic and able to drink again on some special occasion or for 

some extraordinary reason - not even if it is a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, or if a big

 sorrow hits us, or if it rains in Spain or the stars fall on Alabama. Alcoholism is for us unconditional, with no dispensations available at any price."

We need to remember to thank our Higher Power for Zoom meetings 24/7 around the 

world, for our local in-person meetings, our own home group, and our AA network of 

friends - all ready, willing and able to help us get through the holidays sober.

Back-to-back marathon meetings in AA clubhouses offer a warm welcome for those alone when it feels like anything but "the most wonderful time of the year." 

 AA holiday celebrations are held in big cities, small towns and even in very rural areas worldwide. The sharing and celebrations are there for any of us if we're in need - or even

 if we just want to hang out with those people who most understand us.

A lot of AA groups offer us sober fellowship of all kinds this month. There are AA dances, holiday parties, potluck dinners and other special gatherings. I've personally brought in 

many a brand new year in my local AA clubhouse and would do it again this year were

there an AA clubhouse nearby.

 We can head for a meeting anytime we need to escape from the seeming non-stop round 

of family gatherings, shopping marathons, office parties, and other places where we fear hearing those incredulous faces saying - "Surely you can have just one at CHRISTMAS?!!" 

Making our sober plan is more important than sending out cards, buying candles, or 

wrapping presents. Sober planning requires many meetings, remembering to H.A.L.T 

when we are feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired, and for planning beforehand a way

 out of situations when we start feeling stressed. 

First and foremost, get in touch with your own personal brand of Higher Power before 

you head out to a holiday event. It's the way to renew your courage and to know, with that

 kind of backing, you will be victorious over any situation you may encounter.

If single and invited to a plus-one party, we can take along a friend in recovery. Decide 

with them on a signal and excuse for leaving beforehand should one of you start to get uncomfortable.

Family gatherings can be more tricky. One or two people there may be supportive of our sobriety, but others - especially those who drink like we did - may feel threatened by it 

and continually push us to have "just one glass."

The key here is to let people know on arrival that you have another holiday party to go to 

after this one. (No one needs to know your other gathering is an AA meeting). Then get 

the basic must-do part of the visit out of the way (exchanging gifts, eating dinners, lighting candles, whatever) before heading out as soon as possible to your "next holiday party."

Everyone knows there are many parties around the holidays, some of them on the same afternoons or evenings, so the "next holiday party" ploy works equally well for quickly escaping the often dreaded office party.

The good news is we have our A.A. family to validate, support, encourage and get us safely through the holiday season (and all other life events). With them we don't have to explain

 our discomfort at being surrounded by people drinking, with trays full of more drinks on offer. 

All the meetings about holiday hazards help get us centered for the tinsel-strewn days ahead. There will be people in them who have stayed sober through all the dangers of holidays past. They assure us, if they could do it, we can do it. 

                                      And they're right!