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 Made a Decision - Steps One through Five

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The Steps and 12 Traditions and Why we “Work” Them.

                 

                      

        “The Steps protect me from myself; 

          the Traditions protect AA from me.”

 

“A.A.’s Twelve Steps are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature, which if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole.”   

And:

“A.A.’s Twelve Traditions apply to the life of the Fellowship itself. They outline the means by which A.A. maintains its unity and relates itself to the world about it, the way it lives and grows.”  

      (From the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, my favorite AA book).

 

When we do all 12 steps initially we do them to the very best of our ability. More will be revealed about ourselves as we continue along our road of recovery. We will “work” some of these steps every single day and others we will dip back into when we realize more work there is needed.

 An example of that is the Fourth Step. Some people do a Fourth Step once a year every year. Others do another Fourth Step when they feel the need. And sometimes we will do a Fourth Step item on only one item - once it has been "revealed" to us. 

(And don’t let anyone “should on you”. There is no right or wrong way to do any of the steps - just as long as we do them.)

Here are some bullet points and a few personal comments on all 12-steps. Today’s blog deals with Steps One through Step Five: 

Step One - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step One is the ONLY step we have to take 100 percent. It is our foundation for recovery.

In it we will remember what got us to AA in the first place. If you are struggling with Step One, consider the following:

Bullet points for Step One:

1.  Think back to your drinking times. Did your drinking cause you problems in your life? Often? Did you ever swear off alcohol, but then found reason to drink again … and then again? 

2. Did  you ever feel “powerless” in your ability to stay away from having a drink?

3. Did your drinking ever get out of control? Did it sometimes (always?) become “unmanageable?”

4. Were any aspects of your life - relationships, job, finances - affected by your drinking?

5. How did you feel when you finally admitted to yourself that you were powerless over alcohol? What was that moment of clarity (surrender) like?

6. Remember - If you want to drink, that’s your business. But if you want to quit, that’s the business of AA. Accepting Step One puts you firmly onto your path of recovery.

Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

This step is the “whoa” step for many newcomers. They balk at the whole idea of a Higher Power, because they either don’t believe there is a God or they do believe there is a God, one who seeks to punish them for all their “bad behavior.” 

Many newcomers struggle for months, even years, with the entire God concept … but as our Big Book tells us, we only have to turn to a God as we understand Him (or Her).

My first sponsor once asked me to list on paper all the qualities I would want to have in a Best Friend.

 I wrote things like humour, loyalty, strength, intelligence, a sense of fun, a lot of laughter, courage, etc.

My sponsor then said, “OK then - that’s now your God as you understand God. Those are the qualities you’ll ultimately find in your Higher Power. Rely on THAT God. Stop overthinking it.” 

(And you know what? She was right.)

Bullet Points for Step Two:

1. We do NOT have to be believers in the beginning. Many newcomers believe that AA in itself offers a “Power greater than ourselves” able to keep its members - and us - sober. After all, people in AA are sober and staying sober where we could not

2. AA members over time generally (but it is NOT a requirement) come to rely on a “God of our own understanding.”

3. Some members can never accept anything but the G.O.D. ("Good Orderly Direction) of their AA group as their Higher Power. And that's fine

4. AA is NOT a religion.

5. AA, however, is a spiritual program.

6. Sanity is achievable. 

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

What? Turn our will and our lives over to something other than ourselves? No way! 

That’s the usual reaction when confronted with the reality of having to take our paws off our own life and invite God to take over. Pause now and consider where our own control and guidance has left us in our lives. Maybe this God idea could point us toward a better quality of life? Worth a try?

Bullet Points for Step Three:

1. MADE A DECiSION to give AA a try.

2. Attended lots of meetings online and (when it's safe and possible again) in person.

3. Asked a God of our own understanding (often called HP, or Higher Power) each morning to keep us sober for that day.

4. Thanked HP at bedtime for our having had another sober day.

5. Found an AA member with experience in living by the 12-Steps of Recovery to “sponsor” us by guiding us through all the steps. A good sponsor will share his/her own experiences with us and explain how working the steps has kept them sober.

Step Four - Made a searching and thorough inventory of ourselves.

Step Four is where the "take action" steps begin. Here we begin to actually “work the steps.”

Many newcomers fear Step Four, but once they move forward they will discover they’ve been afraid of a paper tiger. There is no harm in any of the steps. Step Four introduces us to the truth about ourselves - and the truth will set us free!)

Bullet Points for Step Four:

1. The Big Book of AA outlines how to do Step Four. Read it and think about it.

2. Take up any questions you may still have with your sponsor.

3. Set aside a morning or afternoon when you won’t be disturbed. Sit down with pen and paper or a notebook and go to it. Use the Big Book outline as your guide. Take prayer breaks if needed.

4. Some people prefer to just write their Fourth Step autobiographically and that can work, too. The goal here is not perfection. The goal is to get this stuff down on paper. My first attempt at a Fourth Step was biographical. I later did Fourth Steps using the Big Book as my guide.

5. Remember to add the positive things about yourself to your inventory. No one is all bad - not even terminally-unique you.

6. If this is your first time doing a Fourth Step you should be able to complete it in two to four hours. That will get on paper the immediate things for working on in your early recovery. (More will be revealed in future Fourth Steps.)

7. If a Fourth Step Workshop is available to you, sign up for it - and then show up and take part.

Step Five - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Why?

If God knows all our secrets and forgives them, why do we have to hang all our dirty laundry out there in front of a person?

Because to walk a spiritual path we must learn all about humility and obedience to God’s will. Our Higher Power needs us to step out here in faith that Step Five is one of our most important steps along that path.

And it really is.

Bullet Points for Step Five:

1. No one wants to do a Fifth Step. Do it anyway.

2. AA’s founders recommended doing a Fifth Step immediately after getting our Fourth Step down on paper. (I say the same). 

3. Set aside a morning or afternoon with your sponsor, a trusted friend, your priest or rabbi, or anyone you trust (but not a live-in partner) and read your Fourth Step aloud to them. 

4. We are as sick as our secrets. Get everything (ALL of it) out in the open. 

5. Your Higher Power didn’t bring you this far to drop you on your head. Do the most thorough Fifth Step you can. The benefits will very soon reveal themselves to you.

We'll have a look at Steps Six, Seven, Eight and Nine in the next blog. Till then, keep sober and keep smiling. Smiles are contagious!