OKaysez

 

 

 Made A Decision

One Day at a Time is all About Acceptance 

        (And acceptance is the answer to all our problems.)

            

         An expectation is a resentment under construction - Lloyd E.

Alcoholics in recovery seem to mainly come in two flavors - hard-charges and foot-draggers.

Hard chargers lives are lived anywhere from months to years ahead down the road. 

Foot-draggers can't see the future through the mists of the past. 

Hard charges launch huge projects. Foot draggers forever procrastinate. 

So it's no wonder our lovely little AA motto, right over there on the clubhouse wall, that one that reads: "One Day at a Time," remains unseen, and certainly not understood by so many, for a very, very long time in recovery. 

All of us quickly grasp the concept of "Anyone can go 24 hours without a drink," especially - as my sponsee Sam S. says -"when we're sleeping for eight of those hours." 

Learning to live one day at a time however - ah - there's the challenge that takes us awhile.

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. 

It says that above in our Big Book, that same book that exhorts us to live one day at a time and to stay sober by seeking the direction and protection of our Higher Power.

I'm a very slow learner, so learning to slow down and stay in the day I'm in right now took a lot of reminders and a lot of practice. When I got sober my concept of a morning meditation was reading the 24-hour-a-day book while driving 70 mph on my way to work, while applying makeup and doing my hair at the same time. 

Learning to slow down and actually think about spiritual matters took time. So did coming to understand - and believe - the fatal nature of our disease and our daily need to do what's necessary to keep it in remission. Developing our spiritual natures is the single most important part of that.

 If you doubt that, read your Big Book again. It's right there in black and white, written over and over again.

 I was also clueless about how I could make plans for the future while staying stuck in today and only today.

So it took time there, too, before I understood we certainly must make plans for our future, but also to trust that our Higher Power has a better plan for us if our best laid plans fall through. 

We have to learn, without free-falling into victim mode, that while our Higher Power answers our every prayer, sometimes the answer is "No." And it takes practice for us to not stamp out little feet when “No” is the answer.

I can accept that "No" today, and I wish I could tell you my acceptance is always immediate, but I'd be lying. Acceptance comes faster when I'm disappointed today than it once did, but when it's a big disappointment it still takes time to process. 

We are not saints ...

Living in today means dealing with the events and emotions in that day and not bringing forward petty annoyances from yesterday or building resentments for the future. 

The Big Big Book (as some call the Holy Bible) says. "Sufficient unto the day are the evils therin." I interpret that to mean we've got all we can handle today, only today. And we learn in our program our tomorrow will be even better when based on a life lived well today. 

Bill W. and Dr. Bob, living one sober day at a time and teaching others how to do the same for the days, weeks, months, years and decades it took for their knowledge to reach me, is a concept that heartens me. 

So does reading about the trials and tribulations and annoyances that bothered them enough to teach them acceptance. 

It heartens me because both men shared one of my own pet peeves - about our maintaining anonymity at the level of our meetings. When we first arrive it's understandable, but to continue doing it seems as counterproductive to me as it did to them. 

They knew alcoholics, grandiose creatures that we want to be, needed to stay anonymous "at the level of press, radio and films," but were baffled how that had become anonymity at group level where five members named  "Mike" could come to be known as "Newspaper Mike," "Handsome Mike." "Fireman Mike," "Tall Mike" and "Dancing Mike," instead of (the following are example names only) Mike Smith, Mike Jones, Mike Brown, Mike Miller and Mike Jackson, their actual names.

Our founders aired that grievance over that issue in letters exchanged between them, but finally came to accept their opinion wasn't going to change what had already become an accepted AA  practice. 

Each day offers us a choice in how to view the events of that one day: the good things, the happy events, the sad moments, the tragedies, the lottery win, the new car, the job opportunity, or just a day to relax, enjoy and take time to smell those roses. 

If we’re having a rough patch in our lives at the moment know that one day the understanding of the reason for it will arrive. Chances are you’ll learn it’s not only a testing time, but is also a preparation for work you’ll be called to do up ahead. 

Our prayers do get answered, sometimes in ways that seem painful at the time, but hindsight being 20/20 we are usually given understanding of our difficult life events when they are a long way behind us. 

We are called to learn how to live one day at a time and to accept whatever that day brings for us to learn from. 

Sounds easy, doesn't it? 

It isn't. 

  But it IS worth it!